How to Feel Confident

Dear Girls, 

This is a really personal message I want to share with you and I wish I had someone send me this when I was younger or even just be there for me but nobody did, I had to figure everything out on my own. So I am here to share some tips and tricks I've learned over the years. I hope this post helps to boost your self-esteem, at least a little We have to start with baby steps; feeling confident and boosting your self-esteem is a journey. There will be ups and there will definitely be downs but you have to remember that you're the master of your thoughts. So do you want to stay down or do you want to rise up and conquer?  

Not feeling confident about yourself is a really difficult thing to have to deal with. However, there definitely are things you can do to help you feel more self-confident, both in terms of personality/who you are, as well as your physical appearance too.
Some things you can try to help you feel more happy and confident with who you are as a person can include:

• Do things you enjoy – some things that are good at helping build your self-esteem can be things you’re good at, or things that make you feel better about yourself, such as volunteering.
• Try and find a new hobby – you could do something that you can do at home by yourself, such as some sort of crafting, etc. or have a look and see if there’s any clubs or classes you can join near you!
• Take care of yourself – whenever I’m feeling low about myself, I find that taking some time to pamper myself can make me feel much better! Personally I like to take a bath, do a face mask, paint my nails, get into comfy pajamas and watch my favorite movie!
• Look after your physical health – exercise can help you feel better, but be sure to know your limits and make sure you do things you enjoy! Also try to make sure you get enough sleep, drink plenty of liquids and try to eat a well-balanced diet (but of course remember to treat yourself to your favorite foods!)
• Try to build positive relationships – try to associate yourself with people you’re comfortable being around, who are supportive you enjoy spending time with. Trying to make sure that you’re caring and supportive towards other people can help you feel better about yourself too. 
• Learn to be assertive – try to tell people if they’ve upset you and explain how you feel, say no to things you don’t want to do and try to put your health and happiness first. 
• Learn to identify and challenge negative beliefs – for example, if you think that no one likes you, try to think of all the times you’ve spent with people you love to help you think otherwise. 
• Focus on positive things – try and think of all the things you like about yourself, personality and appearance wise. You could write them down and read them whenever you’re feeling low, or stick them on post-it notes and put them around your room or mirror.
• Keeping a diary – this could help you sort out your thoughts and feelings about yourself and help you understand them a bit better, but it could also help you keep a track of all the good memories you’ve had!

And then some things you can try to help you improve your body image so you feel more comfortable and confident with how you look can include:

• Develop a healthy relationship with your mirror – say positive things to yourself in the mirror to help promote self love and to change the way you see yourself with the mirror.
• Put up post-it notes – you can have them around your mirrors and other places in your room with positive affirmations to keep a positive mindset.
• Focus on aspects that aren’t just your appearance – your self perception is so much more than just your appearance and you are so much more than your appearance.
• Avoid negative self talk – negative self talk is only detrimental and it is upsetting for loved ones to hear you say those things.
• Surround yourself with positive people – you don’t need people constantly talking about weight and diet in your life, nor do you need people that put you down.
• Try to not compare to others – you aren’t that person and you lead completely different lives. When you compare yourself to other people you’ll always compare the things you don’t like about yourself to the things you admire in the other person; you don’t realize that everyone has their own flaws and insecurities about themselves. You always focus on the worst parts of yourself and the best parts of others, and other people look at you in the same way too.
• Do things that are kind to your body – pamper yourself with face masks and bubble baths, paint your nails and take time to be kind and nourish your skin. You will feel good for it and your body will thank you. Set some time each week to practice self love and self care.
• Be comfortable – there is no point wearing clothes that you aren’t comfortable in, you’re only going to be happy when you’re comfortable and you will feel better about yourself.
• Choose what media you look at – avoid negative media and things that are detrimental to your body image.
• Compliment yourself each day – the more you say nice things to yourself, the more likely you’ll believe it.
• Keep a Journal– this helps you to get your feelings out and you don’t have to worry about someone else seeing it. Expressing feelings is a good way to let out negative thoughts and feel clearer.
• Alter bad thoughts – any time you have a negative thought try challenging it and finding where the thought is coming from. Disordered thoughts don’t have a logical origin and you can change them into more positive reasoning.

I hope that this is helpful for you, my loves. Please remember that I am always here for you if you ever need anything!
Keep fighting!
Take care and lots of love, 
Seema Sammy.