Monday, February 29, 2016

And So A New Chapter Began

Source: http://wikihow.com/howtogetoveryourex/

Dear Girls,

Wow, oh wow, isn’t it weird when someone is your everything and then becomes a nothing? Shocker. Electrocuted. To be fair, I should've knew what I was getting myself into when signed I signed up for this whole "falling in love business." Should have read the fine prints which states that "Thou shalt become a stranger eventually." I should really pay closer attention to these relation ship contracts.

Seeing you for the first time right where it all started, only now it had ended. You made me fall for you at this very place, you made me trust you, you made me commit to you and in the end you played me and broke my heart beyond recognition like I was just another one on the list.

Self praise is not recommendation but I did so much for you that needs to be acknowledged. I fed you, motivated you, respected you, picked you up when you were down, be loyal to you and you still turned around and cheated on me. Why? Were my feelings not taken into consideration?

I felt my heart quicken, tears welled up in my eyes, tears I swore I wasn't going to spend on you. All along I was being strong; trying to stay sane after you messed me up and I was doing a pretty good job at it for the past week. I barely cry at the thought of you. I occupied my time with TV shows. But seeing you now, at the same spot we met completely destroyed me. How can I be strong when I'm in the presence of my weakness. Tell me!!

Hot, salty tears were flooding my cheeks bringing down my mascara and eyeliner along with it and dripping off my chin. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but all that came out were deep, gut-wrenching sobs that tore through my chest.

"I can't do this," I told my friend.

I drew in a deep enough breath to say, "I'm leaving, I was not prepared for this!" Gasping and crying, I couldn't stop, not even when my friend hugged me in her warm embrace.

You said nothing, I said nothing.I had so much to say to you. So much unanswered questions. Tori Kelly's song "All in my head" kept pounding through my skull, I needed to know the answers. I was out here representing and holding it down for you while you were embarrassing me and failing to acknowledge my efforts. Was it hard to be loyal? Was it that hard to claim me? What was it about me that made it so difficult to respect, cherish, appreciate and connect with me?

I had no idea I was going to see you today. I simply made plan to have lunch with my friend. I wasn't ready to face you; to see the man who I once thought would never hurt me; who hated to see me cry but who's the reason behind my tears today. For God's sake I spent a part of my life with you that I will not get back; I will never get to be 24 again. All I'm left with are the memories and photographs.

How did you take it all? What did you think when you saw me? What was going through your head? Does it bother you that we once shared everything; down to the towel we dried our skin with (not hygienic) but that's how close we were.

"Breathe" I whispered to myself. I try to convince myself that my heart is not going to explode nor will my lungs collapse. It's hurts, you know. I will not blame myself because I wholeheartedly gave you my all and you were aware of that. I made sure you had the best of whatever little we had. We were new at this but there was one unwritten rule and that was to put each other first before ourselves. It was suppose to be you and I, we were suppose to be apart of the same team; It wasn't suppose to be you and I plus one.

My heart kept racing back to you, to all the memories we shared throughout this year long adventure and if I'm being completely honest, I was hoping that it never ended. From the first time we kissed to the last time we kissed. I remember every single detail. Can you believe it we once share a bed and our lives together and now we can't bare look at each other in the face.

Now you're just this person out there who knows everything about me, from my turn offs and turn ons, if I snore or not, the password to my phone, what I looked like naked, my family, what makes me cry and laugh, shit. Everything! And now we don't even speak...

And so a new chapter began; it was one that I was never prepared for and one that shook my everything. It was the climax in a book called life after the death of self.

Love Always,

Seema Sammy.

Friday, February 26, 2016

Dear Girls,

We need to have a chat about girl code. Of course, girl code comes with a long set of both written and unwritten rules. Just to make sure we’re all keeping in line, and having each others’ backs because Lord knows, we could use it.
Gentlemen, feel free to ignore this one unless of course you want to take a sneak peek into “girl world,” and while I can promise that you may find some of it interesting, I cannot promise that you won’t leave scarred. Your call!

Source: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/f0/9c/04/f09c04ec16465d6c1327f4bb2660c789.jpg

The Rules That Every Female Should Live By

1. Don’t EVER date your best friends ex boyfriend or crush. Under any circumstance,
it never ends well. I have seen too many friendships fall apart because of a guy.

2. Know the difference between cock blocking and protecting your friend.
If she is drunk and doesn’t know what she is doing, that is called looking out for her.

3. Let your friend know if her boyfriends is cheating on her. If you know your friend’s boyfriend is cheating on her, Its better for her hear it from a friend who cares, than a random person. Also,she will be furious if you knew all along and didn't tell her.

4. Don’t let your friend out the door looking like a hot mess. Would you want her to let you walk out looking the same? Sometimes when I see some outfits, I wonder whose friends let them walk out like that. Never let your friends leave the house looking like a fashion victim. Tell the truth girls, tell the truth.

5. Be prepared for drama when surrounded by girls. We can be a little dramatic at times, it’s in our nature.

6. Never talk down on your best friend's man. Unless she is the one doing the insulting, in that case you nod and agree.

7. Avoid your friend drunk texting her ex. Don’t EVER let your friend drunk dial or drunk text when intoxicated. She might say something stupid or embarrassing.

8. Back your friend up no matter what. Even if she is wrong. Let her know you got her back no matter what, it will build trust.

9. It is a friend’s duty to hold her friends hair back while throwing up. You don’t want to walk around with a friend that smells like throw up.

10. Always leave a guy wanting more. He will always come back.

11. "That Time Of The Month” Sympathies. Girls are allowed to bitch and complain during the first 3 days of their menstrual cycle. Plain and Simple.

12. No hating on other women that you don’t know. Girls, why do we do this? There is no reason to talk badly about a girl that you saw across the room, no reason at all. She is not trying to steal your friends, or your man, or your job, she’s doing her own thing, now walk over, introduce yourself and the two of you could be BFFs in no time. Or just mind your business and leave her alone.

13. No hating on other women’s success. That’s another thing ladies, we need to stop treating success — whether it’s at work or in relationships — as if it is a zero-sum game. There is plenty of room for all of us on this earth.

14. Presence is required if a friend has been dumped. Unless you are deathly sick or are about to win the $1 million on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, If your friend has been dumped, you have to be there. If you’re a really good friend, you’ll be there with pizza and wine.

15. ALWAYS help other girls escape unwanted attention from guys. This can be as simple as dancing with another girl at a club or as difficult as pretending to be her friend in a public place.

16. If a girl looks intoxicated and looks like she needs a friend, be her friend.While the easy route is to point, be judgmental, and tell yourself that it’s not your problem, I am asking at the very least that you go up to her and ask, “Are you okay?” People in this state of mind can easily be taken advantage of in the worst way and that one question can change that possibility. This is the one situation where you are your sister’s keeper.

17. When required, be a wing woman. I know it sucks sometimes because you might not be remotely interested in talking to any of the friends of your girlfriend’s crush, love interest, or whatever, but come on, take one for the team. If they hit it off, your wing woman services will probably not even be needed for a long time, and if they don’t, well, you and your friend can retreat from that crowd soon.

18. “Like” Any New Profile Pics, Selfies And Instagram's post. The easiest way to be a supportive friend is to “like” all of her tagged posts on social media. Every girl needs a fan base, and you are the founder of her club.

19. We Ride Together, We Die Together. At the end of the day, the people who understand you the most and still love you for it are going to be your girlfriends. Treat them the way you want to be treated, appreciate them and show your respect. Remember that and show them some love every once in a while — you’ll never regret spreading a smile.

This blog is dedicated to my best friend, Sheena; I cannot thank you enough for all the support and love you show me.

Love Always,
Seema Sammy.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

26 Signs He's Cheating On You

Dear Girls,

If you think your guy is pulling some shady shit, chances are he is. Trust your gut — but when in doubt, see if he's indulging in any of these shenanigans.

Source: Rotten E Cards

Disclaimer: Your partner may not exhibit all of these signs, but I'm sure some of them are familiar to you. These are just personal signs I've experienced in a past relationship; lets just say I'm a professional at apprehending cheaters.

1. He tells you he isn't really ready for a relationship early on. Yet he continues to talk to you and lead you on in a way that seems serious. You just go with it because he is cute, seems genuine, gives you attention, and you might just think he'll change and realize you're "the one."

2. He puts his phone on airplane mode. That way you can't see incoming texts when you ask to use his phone

3. He wears a man ponytail. AKA pony male (might only apply to my ex).

4. He takes his phone with him every time he goes to the bathroom or sleeps with it under his pillow.

5. He has a "best friend" that's a female- at least that's what he tells you whenever you about this girl in question

6. You have met a few of his friends but never this 'best friend' who keeps texting him.

7. He is more attentive to your needs than usual. This is due to the guilt feelings experienced by the cheater in the early stages of his affair. The attention will diminish as the affair continues.

8. If you look over to see what his doing on his phone, he switch to home screen every time and starts going through his apps.

9. Every time you call him out on something (like why he went so MIA on text/Facetime) he turns it around on you, saying you're being crazy or his phone is malfunctioning.

10. You never know where he is. He doesn't answer text and his Facebook is always off, your messages aren't delivered.

11. He refers to himself here and there as "a loner." Time to walk the eff away.

12. When you're video chatting with him, he's always responding to text simultaneously and when you ask who he's texting. he always says it's his overseas cousin or male friends.

13. He occasionally agrees to plans, then backs out later.

14. He lies about random/inconsequential things.

15. You haven't met his family.

16. You find alarming texts in his phone and he always manipulate you into thinking you're crazy for asking about it.

17. When you pick up his phone to do something innocuous like check the time he FREAKS OUT and/or snatches it away from you with some lame excuse.

18. If you calmly and sincerely approach your partner about the thought that something seems off or makes you uncomfortable, and he or she lashes out and make you feel insecure or insane, it's because he is deflecting. A caring relationship involves talking things out and caring about one another feelings and validating them, while trying to resolve an issue in a constructive and healthy way.

19. His phone battery seems to die more than the average person's, making him unreachable for extended periods of time.

20. He behavior is causing a gut feeling in you that something isn't right. If this happens, pay attention to your instincts. Ignoring them means you want to blind yourself to the truth. You know his habits, routines and attitudes better than anybody, so be suspicious when these things change.

21. He becomes very moody. He seems very upbeat and excited when leaving you but acts somber and depressed when around you.

22. He criticizes things about you that he once found attractive and appealing.

23. He easily becomes offended at comments, however harmless, that you make.

24. He would rather spend time with friends than be with you.

25. He shows no interest in your relationship's future. Says he likes how things are in the present.

26. He has been acting emotionally distant and withdrawn but when you ask about it, he doesn't want to discuss it and says he's going through a lot.

He's going through a lot of vaginas, trust me.

If any of these signals seem familiar or you have caught him red-handed; Please kick his ass to the curb and do it smiling with Beyonce's 'Irreplaceable' on blast. You'll feel so bad ass.

You'll thank me later.

And remember, nothing is wrong with you. You're just too much of a woman for him and he doesn't deserve a rare and precious gem like you. Just accept what it is and move on.

Love Always,

Seema Sammy.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

A Million Feelings About Love.

Dear Girls,

Here's to the girls who try their hardest to be good enough for everyone; who spend hours reading random quotes to find the perfect one; who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot; who deserve so much more that they get and are willing to fight for it and whose wish upon a shooting star was wasted on someone that will never care.
-Unknown

It always begins that way. A hundred promises, a million feelings. Something new and exciting, but something familiar at the same time. The sky becomes infinite and the sun doesn’t seem so harsh. One finds themselves caught in a hazy whirlwind of colors and experiences that are indistinguishable. It is all too beautiful. But it is also all too terrible. Because when the aftermath comes and one realizes the hurricane they’ve been through, they realize that they stand in the ruins of what once was. And so it goes. Time and time and time again, hurricanes become spring breezes and bone chilling cold becomes excited goosebumps. And all too soon we realize, We realize the truth and the terror and the reality. It all happens too soon. So are the seasons of time.

In my little experience, the feelings at first are soft and uncertain. Meek, if you will. They begin a whisper and never grow beyond a level tone. They subside and flow, but barely swell. They are a melody, sung underneath your breath, afraid to be heard. And they are beautiful. Small and feeble but beautiful nonetheless.

But then comes the end. It is bittersweet, and takes time. The melody becomes distorted and lack of harmony grows and reverberates between my ears. The rough edges cut my head and eventually smooth out. And so time goes on. And feelings change, love grows, love goes, love hides away.

It was a mess. Unfamiliar. Uncomfortable. Unhealthy. Tainted. Distorted. Chaotic. Terrifying. But God help me: it was all that, but it was also love.

Love Always,
Seema Sammy.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

How to Feel Confident

Dear Girls,

This is a really personal message I want to share with you and I wish I had someone send me this when I was younger or even just be there for me but nobody did, I had to figure everything out on my own. So I am here to share some tips and tricks I've learned over the years. I hope this post helps to boost your self-esteem, at least a little We have to start with baby steps; feeling confident and boosting your self-esteem is a journey. There will be ups and there will definitely be downs but you have to remember that you're the master of your thoughts. So do you want to stay down or do you want to rise up and conquer?

Not feeling confident about yourself is a really difficult thing to have to deal with. However, there definitely are things you can do to help you feel more self-confident, both in terms of personality/who you are, as well as your physical appearance too.
Some things you can try to help you feel more happy and confident with who you are as a person can include:

Do things you enjoy – some things that are good at helping build your self-esteem can be things you’re good at, or things that make you feel better about yourself, such as volunteering.
Try and find a new hobby – you could do something that you can do at home by yourself, such as some sort of crafting, etc. or have a look and see if there’s any clubs or classes you can join near you!
Take care of yourself – whenever I’m feeling low about myself, I find that taking some time to pamper myself can make me feel much better! Personally I like to take a bath, do a face mask, paint my nails, get into comfy pajamas and watch my favorite movie!
Look after your physical health – exercise can help you feel better, but be sure to know your limits and make sure you do things you enjoy! Also try to make sure you get enough sleep, drink plenty of liquids and try to eat a well-balanced diet (but of course remember to treat yourself to your favorite foods!)
Try to build positive relationships – try to associate yourself with people you’re comfortable being around, who are supportive you enjoy spending time with. Trying to make sure that you’re caring and supportive towards other people can help you feel better about yourself too.
Learn to be assertive – try to tell people if they’ve upset you and explain how you feel, say no to things you don’t want to do and try to put your health and happiness first.
Learn to identify and challenge negative beliefs – for example, if you think that no one likes you, try to think of all the times you’ve spent with people you love to help you think otherwise.
Focus on positive things – try and think of all the things you like about yourself, personality and appearance wise. You could write them down and read them whenever you’re feeling low, or stick them on post-it notes and put them around your room or mirror.
Keeping a diary – this could help you sort out your thoughts and feelings about yourself and help you understand them a bit better, but it could also help you keep a track of all the good memories you’ve had!

And then some things you can try to help you improve your body image so you feel more comfortable and confident with how you look can include:

Develop a healthy relationship with your mirror – say positive things to yourself in the mirror to help promote self love and to change the way you see yourself with the mirror.
Put up post-it notes – you can have them around your mirrors and other places in your room with positive affirmations to keep a positive mindset.
Focus on aspects that aren’t just your appearance – your self perception is so much more than just your appearance and you are so much more than your appearance.
Avoid negative self talk – negative self talk is only detrimental and it is upsetting for loved ones to hear you say those things.
Surround yourself with positive people – you don’t need people constantly talking about weight and diet in your life, nor do you need people that put you down.
Try to not compare to others – you aren’t that person and you lead completely different lives. When you compare yourself to other people you’ll always compare the things you don’t like about yourself to the things you admire in the other person; you don’t realize that everyone has their own flaws and insecurities about themselves. You always focus on the worst parts of yourself and the best parts of others, and other people look at you in the same way too.
Do things that are kind to your body – pamper yourself with face masks and bubble baths, paint your nails and take time to be kind and nourish your skin. You will feel good for it and your body will thank you. Set some time each week to practice self love and self care.
Be comfortable – there is no point wearing clothes that you aren’t comfortable in, you’re only going to be happy when you’re comfortable and you will feel better about yourself.
Choose what media you look at – avoid negative media and things that are detrimental to your body image.
Compliment yourself each day – the more you say nice things to yourself, the more likely you’ll believe it.
Keep a Journal– this helps you to get your feelings out and you don’t have to worry about someone else seeing it. Expressing feelings is a good way to let out negative thoughts and feel clearer.
Alter bad thoughts – any time you have a negative thought try challenging it and finding where the thought is coming from. Disordered thoughts don’t have a logical origin and you can change them into more positive reasoning.

I hope that this is helpful for you, my loves. Please remember that I am always here for you if you ever need anything!
Keep fighting!
Take care and lots of love,
Seema Sammy.

Monday, February 22, 2016

What is a toxic relationship

Dear Girls,

Don’t be upset if people prefer another to you, it’s difficult to convince a monkey that strawberries are sweeter than bananas.

-Anonymous

We have all encountered toxic people in our life, but for those of us unlucky enough to experience a toxic relationship, you will understand how painful it is to let the person go – particularly because you will generally love them and care for them that little bit extra because they have needed you and dragged you down at the same time.

Sometimes we need to love someone from a distance and unfortunately this means the process of detoxing yourself from them. If your partner is putting you down, crushing your spirit or you have found out that they are cheating on you, this blog is for you.

Today we look at how you can release yourself from a toxic relationship and get on with a happier life – even if it means being alone.

What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel consistently bad about yourself. You may find yourself fending off subtle jabs or downright insults, dealing with unreliability or perhaps even deceit. A toxic relationship leaves you feeling anxious, unrewarded and unaccepted.

Still unsure? Check out this blog by Love Panky about the different types of toxic people and toxic-style relationships. In some cases, some of these can overlap, some people may check every box. The types of people who are toxic are:
– Controlling
– Jealous
– Bitchy
– Negative-thinking
– They put you down
– They cheat on you
– They lie to you (don’t put up with lies!)
– They’re abusive
– They blame you
– They are extremely insecure
– They’re demanding
– They’re over-the-top perfectionists
– They’re narcissistic
– They’re competitive
– They’re manipulative.

Here’s a checklist of symptoms of a toxic relationship:
– It feels as though no matter what you do or how hard you try, you can’t do anything right
– Are they constantly putting you down?
– Everything is about them and never about you, when you make it about you – they quickly manipulate it back to be about them again
– You find yourself unable to enjoy the good times
– Is there a constant drama and it always feels so far out of your control?
– They start controlling you until you feel completely lost and confused.
If you answered ‘yes’ to two or more of these – these are your red flags … GET OUT NOW! GO!

Make the right choice and do so only when you're completely ready (you'll know when the time is right); because you wouldn't feel any remorse for kicking them to the curb and you'll do it smiling, sometimes you might not even cry. This is a sign that you know your worth and you're finally taking back the reins of your life. You don't need toxic people in your life.

Love Always,
Seema Sammy.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

My first night here without you

Dear Girls,

As I've stated on previous posts, I will be sharing personal experiences on this blog. I'm only sharing it so you guys can relate to what I'm going through; maybe this is the exact situation one of you is trapped in.

Here's a little poem

Home Alone without you

On my first night here without you

Without anyone
I took two showers and still I felt you.

On my first night home alone, I ate a egg sandwich,
I heard your voice three times in the murmur of the heater,
and counted 16 cars drive by.

The sheet still lingers with your scent,
And still it lays on my skin with your weight
I had to sleep naked with my hands over my ears
Blocking out the deafening sound of time passing
16 cars, 17, 21, 30, 45, 108.

On my first night here without you
I did not cry
I replaced the ghost of your presence with car horns and motorbike growls.

On my first night here without you,
I found a blood stained tissue from when I popped your pimple,
the little sticky note on the bed head is still here,
when I thanked you for dinner and said "I love you, stoopid".

On my first night here without you,
I woke up at 4:30 AM by your voice,
I guess I was dreaming.

Have a great day my loves,
Seema Sammy.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Stop. Regroup. Move on!

Dear Girls,

When you look back on it, it sucks that you gave that person more then they could ever give you. Maybe its the eternal optimism, or the fact that I thought I could fix you. That’s a thing you know, fixing people syndrome. I thought the more I gave, the more I cared, the more I loved, that you would start to do the same, feel the same, give the same. And sadly, that's not always how it works out, you can give someone your entire heart and get nothing in return. Life’s a bitch, huh?

The worst part of ending things is all the feelings attached to it, the way I’ll never be able to look at some things the same. When things end, that person takes a piece of you with them, regardless if they “loved” you or not, and they will always have that piece. You decided to share a part of your life with them, and they did the same. They opened up to you, told you things they didn’t tell anyone else, and that's not things you can forget, ignore and let go. No matter if you delete the pictures together, the relationship status on social media, you can’t delete what you had, the feelings you held.

Seema Sammy.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

20 DIY Valentine’s Day Gifts They’ll Actually Want

Dear Girls/Boys,

Forget flowers and chocolates. Make these beautifully meaningful gifts instead.

1. Chalkboard Heart Frames

Courtney from Crafts by Courtney made these adorable, easy-to-create chalkboard frames. With the right photo, they make the perfect gift.

Materials: wooden heart frames (from any craft store), chalkboard spray paint, sandpaper, and white chalk.

1. Spray two coats of the chalkboard paint on the frames, and allow to dry for 24 hours.

2. To give your frames a rustic and aged look, go over them heavily with sandpaper. When done, wipe down your frames with a cloth to remove the paint dust.

3. Go over the frames with a piece of white chalk, rubbing the chalk all over the frame (this sets the chalkboard). Then lightly wipe off all excess chalk with a cloth.

4. For the final touch, add some scrapbook paper for the background or stick in a photo. Then draw on the frame with chalk!

2. I Heart You Kitchen Towels

Give your favorite cook or foodie kitchen towels that’ll remind them how much you care. Emily from Handmaker of Things shares this tutorial.

Materials craft paint in colors of your choice (towels shown embrace the gold and bright pink trend with a bit of black), letter stencils, stencil pouncer (the one pictured is from a set of 6 or 7 different sizes) or styrofoam headed paintbrush, double-sided tape, plain white kitchen towels made of cotton or linen (not terry cloth or textured; the ones pictured are from a four pack of white flour sack towels from Target, just $3,99), polka dot stencil and painters tape (optional).

1. Wash and dry your towels, then press to make sure they’re nice and flat. Lay out your towel, make sure to put either newspaper, cardboard, or some other protective surface behind it as the paint will likely bleed through.

2. Take your letter stencils and arrange them on your towel as desired. Once they’re where you want them, secure in the corners with double sided tape, so they won’t move as you add your paint. Emily created her heart stencil by folding a piece of heavy paper in half and cutting the shape.

3. Load your stencil pouncer or brush with paint. Dab some of the paint off on a piece of cardboard so you don’t have too much. Begin to dab the pouncer or brush over your stencil. Be careful to not go over the edges, keeping your color inside the letters. Continue to fill in carefully until you have nice solid color. You can also let the first coat dry and add another for more saturated hues.

4. Once paint is dry carefully remove your stencil. Wash again, delicate setting,without other clothes or items, then re-press.

3. Sock Pillows

Via sas-does.blogspot.ca

Show lonely socks some love by turning them into little stuffed hearts. This postshows you how.

4. Love Rocks

Via growcreative.blogspot.com

Color rocks of different shapes and sizes, then seal with a layer of mod podge. Great for your gardening friend, or leave them around the neighborhood to brighten a strangers day, as this blogger did.

5. Bath Bombs

Via crazyaboutmybaybah.com

With a few relatively basic ingredients, you can make your own bath bombs for that special someone who deserves to pamper themselves. Get the recipe here.