Lets talk once more about self confidence, I get it: self-confidence
is challenging to master. It's entirely too simple to fall into a
discouraging rhythm of beating yourself up, because let's be real —
culture isn't always kind. However, it is possible to surmount
the odds and discover a place in which loving yourself comes naturally.
Try your best to tackle these 22 tasks, which promote growth, happiness, success, and wholesome self-love. We're in this together. I believe in you
Source: successmasterycamp.com
1.Stop nit-picking. First and foremost, the endless barrage of
self-criticisms and nit-picking must end. Learn to change the dialogue
in your head! Keep things in perspective — you're only human
(one who makes mistakes once in a while!), and you are good enough. 2.Keep a positivity journal.
To really gear up and switch the direction of your thoughts, try maintaining a positivity journal. This will keep your spirits up and encourage joy and gratitude.
3.Take a break from dating.
Unless you're already in a happy, committed relationship
— which is hard to attain if you're plagued with self-doubt — take a
break from dating. After all, learning to love yourself first is crucial for a fulfilling romantic connection. Carve the time out to
focus on yourself, because you deserve it!
4.Exercise.
It's no secret that exercise boosts your mood, which paves the way for self-love. Not to mention, taking care of your body will recharge your self-esteem!
5.Prioritize what YOU want.
Make a list of the things you love most, and why. Maybe watching Netflix with a bowl of pop corn puts a smile on your face faster than just
about anything (I feel you, girl). Or maybe you find your happy place
when you're doing something else. Prioritize these on a scale of one to ten,
and make a pact with yourself to engage in each and every one by the
end of the week, the month, the year (depending on how big your list
is!).
6.Read a good book.
Books can change your life for the better.
7.Rid yourself of toxic connections.
It's time to ditch the "friend" who
constantly cuts you down with subtle, passive-aggressive barbs. You're
on a journey, and there's no room for toxins where you're headed.
8. Drink less.
It's SO tempting to end a bad day with a
bottle of merlot, but let's face it — drinking isn't the best way to
deal with your problems. Sure, a glass or two here and there is
perfectly acceptable, limit yourself to libations once a week.
9.Learn to enjoy alone time.
Facing alone time
can be intimidating if you're feeling not so good about yourself or
have recently been through a major breakup. Sleeping alone at night
after the end of a relationship is a scary struggle, in particular. But
it's essential that you face your fears and realize you alone are fabulous company. Besides, having extra time to do everything you desire is pretty amazing!
10.Take a vacation.
It's been your dream to visit Dubai for years, but life got in the way and it sort of just fell down the pipeline. Now's your chance to officially make it happen while you're still young and able! Browse Pinterest for travel tips.
Plan your budget. Take the time off of work. Buy the plane ticket! (In
that order, more or less.) Leap on the chance, because you won't always
have it.
11.Eat healthier.
Have you ever felt downright awesome after eating a nutritious meal? We thought so! Putting yummy, healthy food into your body is a simple remedy for self-love.
12.Invest in your career.
Since working is what you do most, put your heart and soul into it! Whether you're content in the field you're in or wish to pave a new career path, discover and establish your passion . . . and work hard. Everyone gets a case of the Mondays from time to time, but if you love what you do, the rewards are abundant!
13.Go shopping.
Hey, who says retail therapy doesn't lift your spirits? No one. Besides, buying clothes that fit well can make all the difference in your self-esteem.
14.Make new friends.
Attend a Meetup
once a week. Show the new girl the best bar in town. Hit up your
neighbor for brunch. Overcoming social anxiety and surrounding yourself with new pals will put you on top of the world, fast.
15.Value your education.
No matter where you're at in your education,
value it! At the risk of sounding nerdy, the learning process is kind of
beautiful especially with all the resources at your fingertips. It's possible to become an expert in virtually anything.
16.Meditate.
When you're stressed AF, try a quick guided imagery exercise. You don't have to be a guru to achieve zen!
17.Care for your appearance.
The skin you're in will last you a lifetime,
so take care of it with a thorough cleaning routine! And make sure
you're always polished for the office. You don't have to go all out with
a smoky eye and contour, but looking presentable, from your hairstyle to the shoes you wear, will work wonders for your confidence.
18.Get a pet.
Maybe it can't be proven that pets help you love yourself, but they
certainly love you. If you're financially stable and crave a living,
breathing cuddle buddy (RIP, huge snuggly teddy bear), consider a furry friend. There's nothing like an adorable animal to greet you at the door every day!
19.Take up a new hobby.
You just got busy with other sh*t. It's never too late to
take up a new hobby, which can be incredibly fulfilling especially if you stick with it!
20.Step out of your comfort zone.
You've always wanted to run a marathon,
but you're worried you won't make it to the end. Lace up your Nikes and
train, lady! It's time to step out of your comfort zone whenever you
can. Breaking out of your bubble will give you a healthy dose of
self-esteem.
21.Organize.
If your room is a mess, your life might be a mess, too. This could be an overstatement, but you'd be amazed by how far a little organizing can go. Not only will things look better, but you'll feel
like everything — big and small — is falling into place, too. So cancel
next Sunday's plans and take the day to clean out your closet literally and figuratively.
22.Answer to no one.
Remember: when it comes down to it, this is your
life, and you should do what you damn well please with it. You can make
your dreams happen; you can become everything you've ever wanted. It
all starts with a little self-love. I really hope this helps you a ton. Your friend, Seema Sammy.
Before I start writing my blog, I'll like to apologize to the people that read my blog for not being consistent . Please bare with me as I figure out a schedule that works best.
Sometimes our
emotions can get the best of us, they can drag us so far down to where
we forget just what it is that once made us happy. Small steps they say,
small steps to a happier road, well what if the road on which we walk
is far too bumpy? No one can tell you that the feelings you have are
wrong. For years I’ve struggled with people that don’t understand my
pain, my hurt, my frustration, but I don’t blame them. Not everyone will
feel as deeply about the things that you do, I try my very best to tell
myself this, but to no avail I seem to foolishly fall back into my
habits. These habits are habitually pushing people away, being angry, and sometimes overcome with an overwhelming sense of
melancholy.
Is
it normal to be chronically sad? To always feel like you’re going to
burst at the seems and just fucking explode because you’ve constantly
held back emotions that were far too strong just to shove away. Welcome
to my mind, where I’m convinced that I feel nothing at all, where I can
pretend that all I care about is myself, but then my heart has to remind
me that I’m too sympathetic and emotional to be this bad ass that I
sometimes portray myself to be. I feel too much, that’s my problem.
There’s
a place in my mind where sad memories dwell, they stay locked away, but
ever so often they come out to play and plague my never resting
thoughts. What is it like to be calm and collected ? To never feel
rejected, to smile and actually mean it ? To be loved and actually feel
it ? I’m learning to accept love, it’s not an easy task when you feel so
undeserving of affection……
It
deeply concerns me that people think that fat people hating
themselves and calling themselves stupid and ugly is better than
embracing who they are and being happy.
Someone’s dress size has no bearing on whether or not they deserve
happiness. Being a shitty person who bullies others into thinking
they’re worthless because of their bodies has a bearing on whether or
not you deserve happiness.
With that being said, try being a good human being! You'll like it. Thanks.
I hope this powerful quote from Robin Lee penetrate your soul the same way it did mine.
"Repeat
after me: I am the woman of my own dreams. I require no validation. My
wish is my command. My life is my own. I build it. My voice is my own. I
use it. I am relentless in my dedication to trusting myself. I am
insatiable in my thirst for the extraordinary, and I do not settle for
the mediocre.
I
Live
Without
Dead
Time."
At work yesterday, a woman in her 50’s was showing a lady and I a beautiful photo of herself in a swim suit when she was in her late 20’s. Looking down at the photo she was smiling, but it wasn’t a happy smile, it was sort of sad, maybe a little on the fond side. She said "I remember when this photo was taken, I remember thinking how absolutely fat I looked." She continued "God I looked amazing. I didn’t see it then. I only see it now. My daughter freaked when she saw it, ‘Mom you were so hot!’ I was. I was hot. And I didn’t feel it. I didn’t see it.” I was having a hard time trying to keep myself together, really. Her expression was so genuine. For a brief moment I couldn’t bare to feel what she must have been feeling right then. Wishing she was kinder to herself. Gentler. I was .. stunned. It really stuck with me. It’ll stick with me forever. It’s frightening what we can’t see in ourselves that others can.
To be honest, the thing that infuriates me the most on a daily
basis is when I see women making nasty comments about other women’s
bodies on social media.
It’s bad enough when it comes from men but I
can’t handle it when it comes from women. Every woman knows what it’s
like to feel uncomfortable in their own skin or feel out of place or to
not think very highly of themselves. So why on earth would you want to
drag your sister, who’s in the same position you know all too well, down
even further? It’s disgusting. Never feel the need to make disrespectful remarks about your sisters. They are beautiful. You are beautiful.
It’s
a shame how hard society is on children and teenagers who are the most
fragile and susceptible to developing body image issues and mental
disorders. Upon seeing a picture of myself at 16 today, I realized just
how average and thin (compared to now) I was.
Now I was never skinny, but I was very, very average. Yet
people, adults and peers alike, were good at reminding me that I was
not skinny. I was constantly reminded that I was on the larger side,
constantly told how “worried” they were about me, constantly being put down
and called cruel things by some classmates, and even sometimes by family.
I
see pictures of myself from back then and god do I wish that I had the
body positivity that I have now. I’m twice the size I was then and I’m
happier with myself than I ever dreamed I could be.
And in being happier, I’m making healthier choices in order to better myself, instead of punishing myself. There was never anything wrong with me, but I was told so often that I was unhealthy and unappealing that I was never happy.
Why on earth would people be so cruel to kids? Please
reinforce to your (current and/or future) children that they are
beautiful. That there is never anything wrong with them or with
nourishing their body. Teach them to be kind to others. Teach them
healthy habits - mental health included - and do not raise them to
believe that they are worth anything less than the entire world.
You
don't know me and I don't know you. You have no right to judge me and
neither do I.
I could do without your stares and giggles or your rude
comments about me being a 'Fatass'.
I don't need your validation,
opinions and definitely not your close minded remarks.
I am self aware,
in fact I know that I'm fat. I can see when I walk how my legs jiggle or that
I have a double-chin.
So I urge you to be so self aware that
you don't have to point and stare at me, that you can love your own
reflection and not make me the subject of your attention.
Every
woman deserves a man who is proudly willing to proclaim to the world,
"Yeah, she's my one and only. She's beautiful and she's mine."
If
you're going through a breakup and you think he's the one, he's not.
He's just a lesson learned. A heartbreak is a blessing from God. It's
just his way of letting you realize he saved you from the wrong one.
You will meet someone incredible for your life; just have patience and never settle for less because you deserve the best.
God knows your heart's desire and if your heart desire is to get married, He will provide you that mate. However do be mindful, He will provide you your future husband, only when the time is right.
AlI
that's on my mind is how much I’ve let myself down trying to lift
everyone else up. I’ve made this mistake so many times before, but
lately it hurts my heart more than usual. I’ve realized just how harmful
being too selfless can be.
I
love helping others. I lend my ear to sad souls who just want to be
heard, or at least they paint a picture as such. I lend my heart to
empty people that can never seem to reciprocate my love for them. You’d
think after years of constant disappointment I'd learn, I don’t. I learn
but I never listen.
I
guess what I’m saying is, stop trying to please everyone except
yourself, ACCEPT YOURSELF, learn to value your own heart and let God
help you help yourself. It’s okay to be selfish, I have to constantly remind myself…. ITS OK TO BE SELFISH.
You are worthy and amazing right now. You just need to remember who you are, and let go of all the false beliefs you've taken on. Mary Oliver says it better that I ever could...
"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air
are heading home agaian.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination.
calls you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place in the family of things."
-Mary Oliver.
Have a wonderful day my loves.
Love Always,
Seema Sammy.
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Dear Girls,
Here's a little something to start your day :)
"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do
afterward." - Kurt Vonnegut
This has always been a favorite quote
of mine, because it kinda sums up a philosophy I've always had. Sure,
there are times you need to cry and just get it all out. I like laughing
though, if I can, because I tend to feel better afterwards. The past
few days I've been feeling pretty disgusted and frustrated with
everything. However, this constant state of frustration and stress was having a
snowball effect to where every little thing bothered me. This has been
one of those situations where crying isn't helping anymore. So last
night I took a big step back from those emotions, chilled out, went to the gym and watched some inspirational YouTube videos . Now I am ready
to laugh, because I had gotten pretty tired of all that cleaning up
afterwards :).
Love Always,
Seema Sammy.
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Dear Girls,
I know from experience that not a lot of us experienced love and encouragement people from the people around us. Most of the time they lash out at us for the way we look. This comes from people who we love and would do anything for. What baffles me is I don't know if they're intentionally hurting me or not. I like to think that they have my best interest at heart and lashing out is their way of helping me. But I've since learned that those people are assholes, yes they could be your parent as a matter of fact. At least for me it was a parent, most of my teen years were spent with my mother comparing me to every kid in the neighborhood. 'Why can't you look like that girl (girl from my neighborhood)?' she would say. 'Do you see any young girl your age that looks like you' or 'You're too fat, no guy would want you'. She would say 'don't eat that', 'don't eat this' and would try to embarrass me even when people were around.
My mom thought that embarrassing me would convince me to make drastic lifestyle change and that I'd probably turn into model. No! that didn't happen. What happened though was I'd stress eat because food was my comfort. Food filled that void she caused from hurting and bashing me. She wasn't helping me at all. Instead, she made it worse. I'm not blaming her for becoming over-weight, I did that on my own. I'm just saying she's one of the influences.
Anyways, the point I wanted to get across to you guys is that you should build up the people around you and make them feel loved. Not just loved, encourage them, believe in them and support them. Sometimes people don't see their own worth so please don't be one of the influences to that. They need a little reminder. Tell them about the potential you see in them. Tell them how worthy they are. Let them know you believe in them. Show your support. Most of all let them know you'll always be there for them, that you'll always be a shoulder to lean on. Everyone deserves that positivity and reassurance in their life.
And lastly, I am in no way speaking ill of my mom. I love her, because of her I've become the woman I am today. I thank her because now I can share my experiences and ultimately help someone. I've look at my experiences as stepping stones because I am using them to help young girls or whoever maybe be going through this.
Keep exuding positive energy!
Love always,
Seema Sammy.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
My Opinion Matters!
Growing
up people would tell me that I needed to look a certain way, that I
needed to lose weight to look beautiful. That I wasn't good enough
because I was FAT, yes I used the 'F' word. They would never give me a
chance, they would assume because I'm fat then I can't be ambitious or I
wouldn't get anywhere in life. None of my dreams deserve to come true
because I am fat. I know this is FUCKING ridiculous but I believed them.
I believe that I wouldn't be able to achieve anything.
And
for years I've hated myself because no matter how hard I try to look
the way society wanted me to look, I couldn't look that way. I started
gym, went on crazy diets trying to stave myself, among other stuff.
The
craziest thing was whenever I would see people I haven't seen in a
while, first thing they would say is 'you haven't lost any weight?',
aren't you doing anything about it?' and then my weight would be the hot
topic of that encounter. I mean come on don't you wanna know how I've
been doing at school, or if I have a promotion at
work, or I don't know how my fucking day went??? And for years I
thought this was the right way for them to treat me because I was FAT.
And even if I was doing great in my life, that wouldn't matter because
guess what, I was FAT.
To
those people, I say #EffYourBeautyStandards. Eff what you think about
me. At the end of the day, you're mad about who I am but I am happy
about who I am. And my opinion about myself is the only one that matters
darling.
