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Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Post Break Up Letters: To The Next Person She Loves.

Dear Girls, 

Know that someday, there will be a person out there who is the person you are meant to be with. It will be the person that God put in this world to make you happy.  
Cheer up, sweet, beautiful girl. You're going to love again and it will be magnificent! 





To The Next Person She loves;

"Please make sure you really want and love her before getting into anything with her. She does not deserve to have her heart broken. She deserves someone who will love her at her best and at her worst, someone who will understand her even in her darkest hours.

Please do not push her into being something she is not. She is not like most women. She is special - and I mean it. She is the most amazing person I have ever known and she should not change a single bit of who she is. If she gets sad or angry, let her. 
If she tells you she needs some time to think, give her time. If she tells you she is so happy that she could just scream in joy, believe her.

Please give her the best of you. Please kiss her tenderly - she prefers soft kisses rather than wild ones. Please understand her love for writing and nature. It is what takes her mind off her problems. Please be happy for her when she accomplishes anything. Please give her all your loving. She deserves to feel loved more than anything in the world. And please, please, hold her close in your arms and never let go, for I would give anything to be lucky enough to be able to hug her once again."

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy.


Monday, May 23, 2016

BEING OUR OWN CHEERLEADERS

Dear Girls,

Life has it's ups and downs, and sometimes we find ourselves in desperate need of a good pep talk. Almost all of last week was pretty shaky for me and I felt completely off my game. I was doubting every decision, and it really caused some interruption of my somewhat peaceful state. 

I've dealt with times like this before - I think we all do - and the most important thing to do during moments like these is to not give up hope. Sometime we have to be our own cheerleaders - our own source of motivation. It can be easy to get discouraged and let things like rude comments and comparison get you down. That's why it's important to know how to have your own back when moments of doubt strike.

I have a few things I like to do help pick me back up and get back into the right frame of mind. First, I like to set aside some quiet time to pray and clear my head. Giving everything up to God really helps ground me and gets my focus back. I'm constantly in "go go go!" mode, and sometimes forget that things work out in God's timing, not my own.

I also think it's super important to be gentle and kind to ourselves. The world is moving so fast, and there's always a constant pressure to be the best and on top of it all. We have to remember to give ourselves moments of rest and care, where we can be pampered and relax a bit. I try to take my day off every week to settle down and enjoy something luxurious - sleep during the day-time, a soothing face mask, watching a few episodes on Netflix or even curling up with a good book for an hour.

The last thing I like to do is give myself a little pep talk. I'll go over past successes and goals achieved, as well as all of the things that I'm grateful for. I also like to read over motivational quotes that have really inspired me in the past. I think there's a lot of power in positive words and being thankful for the good things in life instead of always searching for something better.

I really hope you guys have wonderful and  productive week ahead. 

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy. 

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Life is funny sometimes...

Dear Girls,

You know, life is funny. You’ll be thinking things are going swimmingly and that things are alright one second, and then you could read/see/hear something or be totally blindsided by something and then suddenly things are not okay the next, they are the opposite of okay.

But what I’ve come to realize is this; you decide what determines if you’re okay or if you’re not. Sure things are gonna bum you out if you think too long about them, or if you go out of your way to check or look at things you shouldn’t, but that’s all human nature.
We slip up, we’re curious, we’re at times self-destructive. What it boils down to are the things that you let have a lasting affect on you. 


Give yourself that moment, or chunk of time, to be sad. That moment to be angry or bitter or jealous or whatever. Because suppressing emotions can be destructive too. But then take a deep breath, drink a large glass of water (because if you shed some tears, you’ll need to replenish yourself), and do something that makes you happy. Binge a couple episodes on Netflix. Watch your favorite YouTuber. Eat some pizza. Have a couple drinks. Cry. Shower. Whatever.

And then realize that tomorrow is another day, and while things still may not be 100% fantastic, it’s one day closer till they are. And take heart from that. 



Thank you God for another day. 

Love, 
Seema Sammy.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

16 things only people who live far away from their families will understand

Dear Girls, 

So a few days ago was Mother's Day and one of the most important things in life is family and living apart from them can be a real killer. Whether it’s due to a new career, love or the need to live somewhere else, sometimes we have to live apart from those we hold dearest.

Taking the plunge and making that break can be both difficult and liberating and here’s some experiences and feelings that only those of us who live miles from our family go through.


16 things only people who live far away from their families will understand

1. Feeling left out of family events. Oh look, another party on Facebook or Instagram with the hashtag #family that you couldn’t attend. Why do these things look far more fun than you remember them actually being?

2. Phoning for no good reason. You have no real, significant news to impart but it doesn’t matter because you’ll hang on the phone for as long as possible, even resorting to asking them to repeat childhood stories you’ve heard a million times before.

3. Birthdays being forgotten. You used to get so many card and presents. Now the best you can hope for is to get into double figures on the insincere Facebook ‘happy birthday hun, hope you’re well’ messages. And even those were prompted by Facebook reminders.

4. The changing appearances. Since when did your siblings look so grown up!? So much changes when you’re apart that you can almost walk past your family when they meet you.

5. The pain of family leaving after a visit. That went by so fast. The first fifteen minutes of seeing them again are pure bliss. The rest of the time is spent dreading the imminent goodbye again. As for the goodbye itself…*sob*

6. Getting a hard time for not keeping your family up to date.
You used to tell your family every little pointless thing that happened but now you have to pick out the important bits for those phone calls or Facebook video chat.


7.  The homesickness. When you need a hug with a family member and you can’t have one, you can either toughen yourself up and get on with it, or curl up in a blanket with junk food and feel miserable. The latter option usually wins.

8. Friends become your family. You find yourself latching on to your friends as they are now officially your loved ones. They will have to accept that they have no choice but to adopt you.

9. You learn to appreciate your own company. You can’t show up to see what your mom's cooking or watch a stupid movie with your siblings. You learn surprisingly fast how to enjoy your own company. It’s never the same, but it’s an important survival skill for those who couldn’t feel further from their families.

10. You start to miss the bad parts of home.
While you lived there, you moaned about how boring it was, how everyone knew everyone else’s business and how frustrating your suffocating family were. Now you’d go back in a shot.


11. Questioning life choices
. You often wonder if you did the right thing in leaving home for this new venture. But never forget that the miserable days willl pass and there was a reason you moved in the first place.


And you can never forget that no matter what happens, there is always a home waiting for you. And what a comforting thought that is.

12. You experience the joy of carving out your own spot in the world.

Moving across the gobe, to a place where you know no one, when you're shockingly close to the poverty line, is HARD. Sticking it out, finding a job, and making a life for yourself there is even harder but there is nothing else that will make you feel more proud and independent.

13. You can indulge in all your bad habits (and suffer the consequences thereof) in peace.

Want to get a little too tipsy, order take-out for all your meals, or buy some new underwear at Target without a) running into someone you know and b) having that someone mention it to your Mom. Yeah. That's MUCH easier when you don't live in the same country.

16. You parents can never "drop in" because they were "in the neighborhood."

Ahhh... there's nothing like a 2,367 mile cushion to make you feel safe.

15. You can date someone for 5 seconds without having to introduce them to the crazies that share your last name.  
When you live a six-hour plane ride away, you can just let them keep thinking you're sad and single, while seeing how things go in secret. That way if it doesn't work out, there are depressing lectures about how "you're not getting any younger."

16. You become less of a child and more of a friend.

When you live with your family, you maintain the 'kid' role alot longer. Need something fixed? Call Dad. Need someone to feed the dog. Call your brother. When you live far away, your relationship changes to something less trans-actional. Parents become like peers, and conversations are more mature and personal.

I hope all the moms had a splendid day whether you child lives within a 50 mile radius or a six-hour plane ride. Just know they love you. 

Love Always,
Seema sammy.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

How To Spot A Player

Dear Girls, 

I don't claim to know everything but I am very updated with today's dating scene and what happens in majority of relationships. Also try watching some YouTube story-time  videos about relationships and you'll be up to date. Anyways, the point I am trying to make is have you ever been totally into a guy that you just met, only to find out days or weeks later that he’s not nearly as interested in you as he made it seem?




Today I’m going to show you how to spot a player.

First thing that you need to know is that there are two types of players:

1. Guys who are completely open and honest about what they’re looking for.

These guys are easy to spot, you just have to ask them what they’re looking for in a relationship. Usually, they’ll be very upfront with you. They’ll say things like; “I’m not looking for anything serious. I just want something casual.”
or
“I’m just looking to have fun. I don’t want a relationship right now.”And if you date a guy like this thinking this is going to change, spoiler...it won’t. If you date these guys, it’s your own fault because they’re willing to be upfront with you. You just need to listen to what they say.

The guys you need to really worry about is the second type…

2. Guys who lie, conceal, and manipulate to get you into bed with them.

Both of these guys have one thing in common, they know how to make you want them.
Most men are NOT players. If you think that most men are players, that’s because most of the men you are into are probably players. Alright, let’s talk about how to spot a sneaky, manipulative player, shall we? Since there ARE men who are players and you DO need to watch out for them, this is very important. Many of the things that would make someone a great long-term partner, these guys DON'T possess. In fact, the things that you’re probably the most attracted to aren’t any of the things that make a guy a good potential mate.

How does this help you spot a player? Simple:

As a woman, you have some level of intuition about whether a guy is being genuine or not. If you ignore this intuition because you feel so attracted to a guy that you really want to make it work out, you set yourself up for failure every time. Or worse, you fall in love with a guy’s potential.
“He’d be so perfect, if only he…”

This is a recipe for disaster.

If you meet a guy who seems perfect, take a step back for a moment. Listen to your intuition. Be real with yourself. Are you ignoring any red flags that you should pay attention to? And if you’re with a guy because of who he COULD BE some day in the future, stop lying to yourself. You’re settling. Players aren’t looking to settle down and have a real relationship. They don’t even understand WHY other men would WANT to be in a relationship. Or they’re broken and aren’t willing to deal with that area of their life right now. And you’re more likely to win the lottery four times in one year than you are to change his mind about what he wants. YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FIX HIM. He’s NEVER going to decide that you’re so awesome that he needs to fix himself for you. It’s just very unlikely. He needs to do this on his own. And if you’re giving him everything he needs (sexually, emotionally, etc.), he won’t have any motivation to get it together for you.

So, here’s the point:

Don’t date a broken man with the hope of who he will be some day. And pay attention to your intuition. Look for red flags and don’t ignore them because of how attracted you are to him. The things that make you attracted to him aren’t the same things that make him a good potential mate. 

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy.