Monday, February 29, 2016
Wow, oh wow, isn’t it weird when someone is your everything and then becomes a nothing? Shocker. Electrocuted. To be fair, I should've knew what I was getting myself into when signed I signed up for this whole "falling in love business." Should have read the fine prints which states that "Thou shalt become a stranger eventually." I should really pay closer attention to these relation ship contracts.
I felt my heart quicken, tears welled up in my eyes, tears I swore I wasn't going to spend on you. All along I was being strong; trying to stay sane after you messed me up and I was doing a pretty good job at it for the past week. I barely cry at the thought of you. I occupied my time with TV shows. But seeing you now, at the same spot we met completely destroyed me. How can I be strong when I'm in the presence of my weakness. Tell me!!
Hot, salty tears were flooding my cheeks bringing down my mascara and eyeliner along with it and dripping off my chin. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but all that came out were deep, gut-wrenching sobs that tore through my chest.
I drew in a deep enough breath to say, "I'm leaving, I was not prepared for this!" Gasping and crying, I couldn't stop, not even when my friend hugged me in her warm embrace.
Friday, February 26, 2016
Dear Girls,We need to have a chat about girl code. Of course, girl code comes with a long set of both written and unwritten rules. Just to make sure we’re all keeping in line, and having each others’ backs because Lord knows, we could use it.
Gentlemen, feel free to ignore this one unless of course you want to take a sneak peek into “girl world,” and while I can promise that you may find some of it interesting, I cannot promise that you won’t leave scarred. Your call!
The Rules That Every Female Should Live By
1. Don’t EVER date your best friends ex boyfriend or crush. Under any circumstance,
it never ends well. I have seen too many friendships fall apart because of a guy.
2. Know the difference between cock blocking and protecting your friend.
If she is drunk and doesn’t know what she is doing, that is called looking out for her.
3. Let your friend know if her boyfriends is cheating on her. If you know your friend’s boyfriend is cheating on her, Its better for her hear it from a friend who cares, than a random person. Also,she will be furious if you knew all along and didn't tell her.
4. Don’t let your friend out the door looking like a hot mess. Would you want her to let you walk out looking the same? Sometimes when I see some outfits, I wonder whose friends let them walk out like that. Never let your friends leave the house looking like a fashion victim. Tell the truth girls, tell the truth.
5. Be prepared for drama when surrounded by girls. We can be a little dramatic at times, it’s in our nature.
6. Never talk down on your best friend's man. Unless she is the one doing the insulting, in that case you nod and agree.
7. Avoid your friend drunk texting her ex. Don’t EVER let your friend drunk dial or drunk text when intoxicated. She might say something stupid or embarrassing.
8. Back your friend up no matter what. Even if she is wrong. Let her know you got her back no matter what, it will build trust.
9. It is a friend’s duty to hold her friends hair back while throwing up. You don’t want to walk around with a friend that smells like throw up.
10. Always leave a guy wanting more. He will always come back.
11. "That Time Of The Month” Sympathies. Girls are allowed to bitch and complain during the first 3 days of their menstrual cycle. Plain and Simple.
12. No hating on other women that you don’t know. Girls, why do we do this? There is no reason to talk badly about a girl that you saw across the room, no reason at all. She is not trying to steal your friends, or your man, or your job, she’s doing her own thing, now walk over, introduce yourself and the two of you could be BFFs in no time. Or just mind your business and leave her alone.
13. No hating on other women’s success. That’s another thing ladies, we need to stop treating success — whether it’s at work or in relationships — as if it is a zero-sum game. There is plenty of room for all of us on this earth.
14. Presence is required if a friend has been dumped. Unless you are deathly sick or are about to win the $1 million on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, If your friend has been dumped, you have to be there. If you’re a really good friend, you’ll be there with pizza and wine.
15. ALWAYS help other girls escape unwanted attention from guys. This can be as simple as dancing with another girl at a club or as difficult as pretending to be her friend in a public place.
16. If a girl looks intoxicated and looks like she needs a friend, be her friend.While the easy route is to point, be judgmental, and tell yourself that it’s not your problem, I am asking at the very least that you go up to her and ask, “Are you okay?” People in this state of mind can easily be taken advantage of in the worst way and that one question can change that possibility. This is the one situation where you are your sister’s keeper.
17. When required, be a wing woman. I know it sucks sometimes because you might not be remotely interested in talking to any of the friends of your girlfriend’s crush, love interest, or whatever, but come on, take one for the team. If they hit it off, your wing woman services will probably not even be needed for a long time, and if they don’t, well, you and your friend can retreat from that crowd soon.
18. “Like” Any New Profile Pics, Selfies And Instagram's post. The easiest way to be a supportive friend is to “like” all of her tagged posts on social media. Every girl needs a fan base, and you are the founder of her club.
19. We Ride Together, We Die Together. At the end of the day, the people who understand you the most and still love you for it are going to be your girlfriends. Treat them the way you want to be treated, appreciate them and show your respect. Remember that and show them some love every once in a while — you’ll never regret spreading a smile.
This blog is dedicated to my best friend, Sheena; I cannot thank you enough for all the support and love you show me.
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Here's to the girls who try their hardest to be good enough for everyone; who spend hours reading random quotes to find the perfect one; who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot; who deserve so much more that they get and are willing to fight for it and whose wish upon a shooting star was wasted on someone that will never care.
It always begins that way. A hundred promises, a million feelings. Something new and exciting, but something familiar at the same time. The sky becomes infinite and the sun doesn’t seem so harsh. One finds themselves caught in a hazy whirlwind of colors and experiences that are indistinguishable. It is all too beautiful. But it is also all too terrible. Because when the aftermath comes and one realizes the hurricane they’ve been through, they realize that they stand in the ruins of what once was. And so it goes. Time and time and time again, hurricanes become spring breezes and bone chilling cold becomes excited goosebumps. And all too soon we realize, We realize the truth and the terror and the reality. It all happens too soon. So are the seasons of time.
In my little experience, the feelings at first are soft and uncertain. Meek, if you will. They begin a whisper and never grow beyond a level tone. They subside and flow, but barely swell. They are a melody, sung underneath your breath, afraid to be heard. And they are beautiful. Small and feeble but beautiful nonetheless.
But then comes the end. It is bittersweet, and takes time. The melody becomes distorted and lack of harmony grows and reverberates between my ears. The rough edges cut my head and eventually smooth out. And so time goes on. And feelings change, love grows, love goes, love hides away.
It was a mess. Unfamiliar. Uncomfortable. Unhealthy. Tainted. Distorted. Chaotic. Terrifying. But God help me: it was all that, but it was also love.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
This is a really personal message I want to share with you and I wish I had someone send me this when I was younger or even just be there for me but nobody did, I had to figure everything out on my own. So I am here to share some tips and tricks I've learned over the years. I hope this post helps to boost your self-esteem, at least a little We have to start with baby steps; feeling confident and boosting your self-esteem is a journey. There will be ups and there will definitely be downs but you have to remember that you're the master of your thoughts. So do you want to stay down or do you want to rise up and conquer?
Not feeling confident about yourself is a really difficult thing to have to deal with. However, there definitely are things you can do to help you feel more self-confident, both in terms of personality/who you are, as well as your physical appearance too.
Some things you can try to help you feel more happy and confident with who you are as a person can include:
- Do things you enjoy – some things that are good at helping build your self-esteem can be things you’re good at, or things that make you feel better about yourself, such as volunteering.
- Try and find a new hobby – you could do something that you can do at home by yourself, such as some sort of crafting, etc. or have a look and see if there’s any clubs or classes you can join near you!
- Take care of yourself – whenever I’m feeling low about myself, I find that taking some time to pamper myself can make me feel much better! Personally I like to take a bath, do a face mask, paint my nails, get into comfy pajamas and watch my favorite movie!
- Look after your physical health – exercise can help you feel better, but be sure to know your limits and make sure you do things you enjoy! Also try to make sure you get enough sleep, drink plenty of liquids and try to eat a well-balanced diet (but of course remember to treat yourself to your favorite foods!)
- Try to build positive relationships – try to associate yourself with people you’re comfortable being around, who are supportive you enjoy spending time with. Trying to make sure that you’re caring and supportive towards other people can help you feel better about yourself too.
- Learn to be assertive – try to tell people if they’ve upset you and explain how you feel, say no to things you don’t want to do and try to put your health and happiness first.
- Learn to identify and challenge negative beliefs – for example, if you think that no one likes you, try to think of all the times you’ve spent with people you love to help you think otherwise.
- Focus on positive things – try and think of all the things you like about yourself, personality and appearance wise. You could write them down and read them whenever you’re feeling low, or stick them on post-it notes and put them around your room or mirror.
- Keeping a diary – this could help you sort out your thoughts and feelings about yourself and help you understand them a bit better, but it could also help you keep a track of all the good memories you’ve had!
- Develop a healthy relationship with your mirror – say positive things to yourself in the mirror to help promote self love and to change the way you see yourself with the mirror.
- Put up post-it notes – you can have them around your mirrors and other places in your room with positive affirmations to keep a positive mindset.
- Focus on aspects that aren’t just your appearance – your self perception is so much more than just your appearance and you are so much more than your appearance.
- Avoid negative self talk – negative self talk is only detrimental and it is upsetting for loved ones to hear you say those things.
- Surround yourself with positive people – you don’t need people constantly talking about weight and diet in your life, nor do you need people that put you down.
- Try to not compare to others – you aren’t that person and you lead completely different lives. When you compare yourself to other people you’ll always compare the things you don’t like about yourself to the things you admire in the other person; you don’t realize that everyone has their own flaws and insecurities about themselves. You always focus on the worst parts of yourself and the best parts of others, and other people look at you in the same way too.
- Do things that are kind to your body – pamper yourself with face masks and bubble baths, paint your nails and take time to be kind and nourish your skin. You will feel good for it and your body will thank you. Set some time each week to practice self love and self care.
- Be comfortable – there is no point wearing clothes that you aren’t comfortable in, you’re only going to be happy when you’re comfortable and you will feel better about yourself.
- Choose what media you look at – avoid negative media and things that are detrimental to your body image.
- Compliment yourself each day – the more you say nice things to yourself, the more likely you’ll believe it.
- Keep a Journal– this helps you to get your feelings out and you don’t have to worry about someone else seeing it. Expressing feelings is a good way to let out negative thoughts and feel clearer.
- Alter bad thoughts – any time you have a negative thought try challenging it and finding where the thought is coming from. Disordered thoughts don’t have a logical origin and you can change them into more positive reasoning.
I hope that this is helpful for you, my loves. Please remember that I am always here for you if you ever need anything!
Take care and lots of love,
Monday, February 22, 2016
Don’t be upset if people prefer another to you, it’s difficult to convince a monkey that strawberries are sweeter than bananas.
We have all encountered toxic people in our life, but for those of us unlucky enough to experience a toxic relationship, you will understand how painful it is to let the person go – particularly because you will generally love them and care for them that little bit extra because they have needed you and dragged you down at the same time.
Sometimes we need to love someone from a distance and unfortunately this means the process of detoxing yourself from them. If your partner is putting you down, crushing your spirit or you have found out that they are cheating on you, this blog is for you.
Today we look at how you can release yourself from a toxic relationship and get on with a happier life – even if it means being alone.
What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel consistently bad about yourself. You may find yourself fending off subtle jabs or downright insults, dealing with unreliability or perhaps even deceit. A toxic relationship leaves you feeling anxious, unrewarded and unaccepted.
Still unsure? Check out this blog by Love Panky about the different types of toxic people and toxic-style relationships. In some cases, some of these can overlap, some people may check every box. The types of people who are toxic are:
– They put you down
– They cheat on you
– They lie to you (don’t put up with lies!)
– They’re abusive
– They blame you
– They are extremely insecure
– They’re demanding
– They’re over-the-top perfectionists
– They’re narcissistic
– They’re competitive
– They’re manipulative.
Here’s a checklist of symptoms of a toxic relationship:
– It feels as though no matter what you do or how hard you try, you can’t do anything right
– Are they constantly putting you down?
– Everything is about them and never about you, when you make it about you – they quickly manipulate it back to be about them again
– You find yourself unable to enjoy the good times
– Is there a constant drama and it always feels so far out of your control?
– They start controlling you until you feel completely lost and confused.
If you answered ‘yes’ to two or more of these – these are your red flags … GET OUT NOW! GO!
Make the right choice and do so only when you're completely ready (you'll know when the time is right); because you wouldn't feel any remorse for kicking them to the curb and you'll do it smiling, sometimes you might not even cry. This is a sign that you know your worth and you're finally taking back the reins of your life. You don't need toxic people in your life.
Sunday, February 21, 2016
As I've stated on previous posts, I will be sharing personal experiences on this blog. I'm only sharing it so you guys can relate to what I'm going through; maybe this is the exact situation one of you is trapped in.
Here's a little poem