Dear Girls,So a few days ago was Mother's Day and one of the most important things in life is family and living apart from them can be a real killer. Whether it’s due to a new career, love or the need to live somewhere else, sometimes we have to live apart from those we hold dearest.
Taking the plunge and making that break can be both difficult and liberating and here’s some experiences and feelings that only those of us who live miles from our family go through.
16 things only people who live far away from their families will understand1. Feeling left out of family events. Oh look, another party on Facebook or Instagram with the hashtag #family that you couldn’t attend. Why do these things look far more fun than you remember them actually being?
2. Phoning for no good reason. You have no real, significant news to impart but it doesn’t matter because you’ll hang on the phone for as long as possible, even resorting to asking them to repeat childhood stories you’ve heard a million times before.
3. Birthdays being forgotten. You used to get so many card and presents. Now the best you can hope for is to get into double figures on the insincere Facebook ‘happy birthday hun, hope you’re well’ messages. And even those were prompted by Facebook reminders.
4. The changing appearances. Since when did your siblings look so grown up!? So much changes when you’re apart that you can almost walk past your family when they meet you.
5. The pain of family leaving after a visit. That went by so fast. The first fifteen minutes of seeing them again are pure bliss. The rest of the time is spent dreading the imminent goodbye again. As for the goodbye itself…*sob*
6. Getting a hard time for not keeping your family up to date. You used to tell your family every little pointless thing that happened but now you have to pick out the important bits for those phone calls or Facebook video chat.
7. The homesickness. When you need a hug with a family member and you can’t have one, you can either toughen yourself up and get on with it, or curl up in a blanket with junk food and feel miserable. The latter option usually wins.
8. Friends become your family. You find yourself latching on to your friends as they are now officially your loved ones. They will have to accept that they have no choice but to adopt you.
9. You learn to appreciate your own company. You can’t show up to see what your mom's cooking or watch a stupid movie with your siblings. You learn surprisingly fast how to enjoy your own company. It’s never the same, but it’s an important survival skill for those who couldn’t feel further from their families.
10. You start to miss the bad parts of home. While you lived there, you moaned about how boring it was, how everyone knew everyone else’s business and how frustrating your suffocating family were. Now you’d go back in a shot.
11. Questioning life choices. You often wonder if you did the right thing in leaving home for this new venture. But never forget that the miserable days willl pass and there was a reason you moved in the first place.
And you can never forget that no matter what happens, there is always a home waiting for you. And what a comforting thought that is.
12. You experience the joy of carving out your own spot in the world.
Moving across the gobe, to a place where you know no one, when you're shockingly close to the poverty line, is HARD. Sticking it out, finding a job, and making a life for yourself there is even harder but there is nothing else that will make you feel more proud and independent.
13. You can indulge in all your bad habits (and suffer the consequences thereof) in peace.
Want to get a little too tipsy, order take-out for all your meals, or buy some new underwear at Target without a) running into someone you know and b) having that someone mention it to your Mom. Yeah. That's MUCH easier when you don't live in the same country.16. You parents can never "drop in" because they were "in the neighborhood."
Ahhh... there's nothing like a 2,367 mile cushion to make you feel safe.
15. You can date someone for 5 seconds without having to introduce them to the crazies that share your last name.
When you live a six-hour plane ride away, you can just let them keep thinking you're sad and single, while seeing how things go in secret. That way if it doesn't work out, there are depressing lectures about how "you're not getting any younger."
16. You become less of a child and more of a friend.
When you live with your family, you maintain the 'kid' role alot longer. Need something fixed? Call Dad. Need someone to feed the dog. Call your brother. When you live far away, your relationship changes to something less trans-actional. Parents become like peers, and conversations are more mature and personal.
I hope all the moms had a splendid day whether you child lives within a 50 mile radius or a six-hour plane ride. Just know they love you.