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Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Please read till the end. I honestly don't have a title for this blog post

Dear Girls, 

Just when I thought I didn't deserve anything good someone showed up in my life and proved me wrong. I prayed to God and ask him to show me the right path, to guide me closer to what was meant for me. I stopped entertaining certain people and took some much needed time to work on myself; I started eating healthier, started working out, started hanging around positive people which lead me into making better decisions for my life and before I knew it good things were happening. I was finally happy with who I was becoming. 

There is a lesson to be learnt here, stop allowing past mistakes to ruin your life, stop dwelling on a ex, stop stalking their social media, what they do shouldn't have any effect on you and you need to make a promise with yourself and God that you're gonna move on and not let an ex hold you back. 

Move on and start making decisions that will positively impact your life and trust me honey when I say that you will be rewarded. As long as you've been working on bettering yourself, when the time is right, someone is going to enter your life and show why it never worked out with any of the other douche bags. He's gonna love and respect you in ways nobody has ever done. He will treat you like a queen. 

He'll show you off to his parents and friends. He will claim you and not let you look like a fool. He'll worship you like a goddess and that's when you'll realize what love actually is. That's when you'll realize how special and beautiful you are. He will never forget to let you know that you're worth it. He will make time out of his busy schedule to see you. He'll call you and text you through out the day. You won't ever have to question his loyalty and have second thoughts. He'll be completely honest with you. And this is when you'll know that you've found your king. 👑

He'll take you on real dates, he won't ask you if you wanna Netflix and chill. He'll bring you flowers and chocolate when he picks you up. He'll hold your hand while he drives and he'll kiss the back of your palm occasionally and all will be right with the world, with your world. He'll take on fancy dinners, he'll hold your hand in public as you walk, he will open doors for you. He will include you in future plans. He'll include you in his life plans and that is when you'll know that you've got a keeper and you will love this man with all you've got because you've love and done so much for the wrong people. Imagine what you'd for the right one. 

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy. 

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Miss Moving On

Dear Girls, 

Look at you, make up fucked up from crying.
After you gave that fuckboy one last chance, again.
And you were played for a fool, again. When will you learn, when will enough be enough? Your heart can only take so much you know, from the sadness in your eyes I'd say you've reached your limit. I know it's hard to see through those tears, I know it's hard to accept that you have to let go of all the time you spent, all the wasted years. But you're still so young, so beautiful, so full of life and no matter what he's taken from you, how badly you let him destroy you he can never take your heart away from you. Broken and bruised but that shit still works, it still finds a way to beat, finds a way to keep surviving. You will too.I promise you the world isn't over yet and you've still got a whole lot of living to do, maybe even a few more heart breaks to endure and lessons to learn. Appreciate it all, there's beauty in the chaos and there is something to be appreciated in every aspect of life.
Dry those tears, fix that crown, and hold your head high while you pick up the broken pieces and keep it moving. 

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy. 

Friday, July 29, 2016

You don't need their validation

Dear Girls,

Insecurities, we all have them, but don't make them an excuse to tear someone else down. I don't need validation from anyone. I'm my own person and I'll forever stand by my decisions. You shouldn't be bothered by my appearance, I'm definitely not bothered by yours. I'm fat and short, and I own several mirrors. I'm aware of how I look and nothing negative said can hurt me, you're not God so that shit will and never affect me. 

No matter how you look, it's inevitable that people will stare at you. Don't allow someone's dirty look to influence how you feel about yourself. I get dirty looks all day, maybe it's because I'm fat or it could be that I'm rather beautiful and their too timid to let me know? Whatever it maybe, I know better than to let it get to me. 

Have a safe weekend. Go out and be bomb bitches!
Seema Sammy. 

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Exhale the bullshit

Dear Girls, 

So I made a promise to myself that I will have a blog up at least twice a week. I've said this before and have failed, sorry :(. This organization thing is kind of hard but I'll master it, eventually. Anyways, here's a little positivity for my loves. 

I know most, if not all of you have had some weak moments in your life, especially if you've been in a toxic relationship and finally you found the courage to move on. Trust me it's not easy but this is what I had to do. I had to muster all the courage I have, every little bit to do what I did. 

I had to take it back; the power he had in my life. He didn't  deserve that, such things should be reserved for someone who shows me unconditional love and never leaves me in doubt. But him, fuck him, all he ever did was take advantage of my willingness to love and trust, only to tear me apart. I don't deserve that and he didn't serve me. 

I hope you guys keep making the right decision and if no one has told you lately then I will tell you. You deserve the best! Don't ever settle or put up with bullshit. 

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy. 

Sunday, July 10, 2016



Dear Girls, 

I've been in a very happy place lately and today's blog will be very casual. I didn't write a draft first, I just sat down and started writing what I'm feeling, there's no editing, I won't google a word to use in place of another. This blog is very raw and precise, might be boring. 

The thing is, our life doesn't depend on a another person to make us happy. We have to be our own happiness and when we've achieved that, then whoever comes in our life and add to that happiness will be an added bonus. Sometimes someone comes in your life and suddenly everything changes, they raise your standards, makes you laugh more, make you feel comfortable. There is something about them you can't exactly put in words but you just thank God for sending them in your life. 

From the moment you started talking to them, you knew that you wanted them around. It is so easy to be yourself around them, you didn't have to try hard, the conversations just flowed and everything else followed. I feel like everything in my life has led me to them. My choices, my heart breaks, my regrets, everything. And when we're together, my past seems worth it because had I done one thing differently I might never have met them or appreciate everything thing they have done for me. 

I hope everyone's having a lovely Sunday. 

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy. 

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Dear Self, Happiness can only exist in acceptance.

Dear Girls, 

"Happiness can only exist in acceptance"

Just when you think you’ll never get over someone, it happens. As you lie in bed, you realize that you haven’t thought about them once all day. Their voice becomes fuzzier and fuzzier, and their face seems to fade in your mind. You realize that you feel nothing. It isn’t a bad feeling, not one of loneliness or sadness, but, instead, it is a feeling of simplicity. Like you got a fresh start.
And of course, when that song comes on the radio, your mind will wonder, you’re going to think of them. And when someone mentions their name, your head will turn. But you’ll no longer be filled with the emptiness that you thought you were going to have to get used to for the rest of your life. They’ll no loner be the last thing you think about before falling asleep. You’ll no longer check your phone for their call.
And maybe, one day, you’ll be able to tell stories about that past love. Maybe your bittersweet memories will turn into joyous ones. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll be able to look back, smile and thank God because He has lead you to the path that has change your life for the better. 

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy. 

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Post Break Up Letters: To The Next Person She Loves.

Dear Girls, 

Know that someday, there will be a person out there who is the person you are meant to be with. It will be the person that God put in this world to make you happy.  
Cheer up, sweet, beautiful girl. You're going to love again and it will be magnificent! 

To The Next Person She loves;

"Please make sure you really want and love her before getting into anything with her. She does not deserve to have her heart broken. She deserves someone who will love her at her best and at her worst, someone who will understand her even in her darkest hours.

Please do not push her into being something she is not. She is not like most women. She is special - and I mean it. She is the most amazing person I have ever known and she should not change a single bit of who she is. If she gets sad or angry, let her. 
If she tells you she needs some time to think, give her time. If she tells you she is so happy that she could just scream in joy, believe her.

Please give her the best of you. Please kiss her tenderly - she prefers soft kisses rather than wild ones. Please understand her love for writing and nature. It is what takes her mind off her problems. Please be happy for her when she accomplishes anything. Please give her all your loving. She deserves to feel loved more than anything in the world. And please, please, hold her close in your arms and never let go, for I would give anything to be lucky enough to be able to hug her once again."

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy.

Monday, May 23, 2016


Dear Girls,

Life has it's ups and downs, and sometimes we find ourselves in desperate need of a good pep talk. Almost all of last week was pretty shaky for me and I felt completely off my game. I was doubting every decision, and it really caused some interruption of my somewhat peaceful state. 

I've dealt with times like this before - I think we all do - and the most important thing to do during moments like these is to not give up hope. Sometime we have to be our own cheerleaders - our own source of motivation. It can be easy to get discouraged and let things like rude comments and comparison get you down. That's why it's important to know how to have your own back when moments of doubt strike.

I have a few things I like to do help pick me back up and get back into the right frame of mind. First, I like to set aside some quiet time to pray and clear my head. Giving everything up to God really helps ground me and gets my focus back. I'm constantly in "go go go!" mode, and sometimes forget that things work out in God's timing, not my own.

I also think it's super important to be gentle and kind to ourselves. The world is moving so fast, and there's always a constant pressure to be the best and on top of it all. We have to remember to give ourselves moments of rest and care, where we can be pampered and relax a bit. I try to take my day off every week to settle down and enjoy something luxurious - sleep during the day-time, a soothing face mask, watching a few episodes on Netflix or even curling up with a good book for an hour.

The last thing I like to do is give myself a little pep talk. I'll go over past successes and goals achieved, as well as all of the things that I'm grateful for. I also like to read over motivational quotes that have really inspired me in the past. I think there's a lot of power in positive words and being thankful for the good things in life instead of always searching for something better.

I really hope you guys have wonderful and  productive week ahead. 

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy. 

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Life is funny sometimes...

Dear Girls,

You know, life is funny. You’ll be thinking things are going swimmingly and that things are alright one second, and then you could read/see/hear something or be totally blindsided by something and then suddenly things are not okay the next, they are the opposite of okay.

But what I’ve come to realize is this; you decide what determines if you’re okay or if you’re not. Sure things are gonna bum you out if you think too long about them, or if you go out of your way to check or look at things you shouldn’t, but that’s all human nature.
We slip up, we’re curious, we’re at times self-destructive. What it boils down to are the things that you let have a lasting affect on you. 

Give yourself that moment, or chunk of time, to be sad. That moment to be angry or bitter or jealous or whatever. Because suppressing emotions can be destructive too. But then take a deep breath, drink a large glass of water (because if you shed some tears, you’ll need to replenish yourself), and do something that makes you happy. Binge a couple episodes on Netflix. Watch your favorite YouTuber. Eat some pizza. Have a couple drinks. Cry. Shower. Whatever.

And then realize that tomorrow is another day, and while things still may not be 100% fantastic, it’s one day closer till they are. And take heart from that. 

Thank you God for another day. 

Seema Sammy.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

16 things only people who live far away from their families will understand

Dear Girls, 

So a few days ago was Mother's Day and one of the most important things in life is family and living apart from them can be a real killer. Whether it’s due to a new career, love or the need to live somewhere else, sometimes we have to live apart from those we hold dearest.

Taking the plunge and making that break can be both difficult and liberating and here’s some experiences and feelings that only those of us who live miles from our family go through.

16 things only people who live far away from their families will understand

1. Feeling left out of family events. Oh look, another party on Facebook or Instagram with the hashtag #family that you couldn’t attend. Why do these things look far more fun than you remember them actually being?

2. Phoning for no good reason. You have no real, significant news to impart but it doesn’t matter because you’ll hang on the phone for as long as possible, even resorting to asking them to repeat childhood stories you’ve heard a million times before.

3. Birthdays being forgotten. You used to get so many card and presents. Now the best you can hope for is to get into double figures on the insincere Facebook ‘happy birthday hun, hope you’re well’ messages. And even those were prompted by Facebook reminders.

4. The changing appearances. Since when did your siblings look so grown up!? So much changes when you’re apart that you can almost walk past your family when they meet you.

5. The pain of family leaving after a visit. That went by so fast. The first fifteen minutes of seeing them again are pure bliss. The rest of the time is spent dreading the imminent goodbye again. As for the goodbye itself…*sob*

6. Getting a hard time for not keeping your family up to date.
You used to tell your family every little pointless thing that happened but now you have to pick out the important bits for those phone calls or Facebook video chat.

7.  The homesickness. When you need a hug with a family member and you can’t have one, you can either toughen yourself up and get on with it, or curl up in a blanket with junk food and feel miserable. The latter option usually wins.

8. Friends become your family. You find yourself latching on to your friends as they are now officially your loved ones. They will have to accept that they have no choice but to adopt you.

9. You learn to appreciate your own company. You can’t show up to see what your mom's cooking or watch a stupid movie with your siblings. You learn surprisingly fast how to enjoy your own company. It’s never the same, but it’s an important survival skill for those who couldn’t feel further from their families.

10. You start to miss the bad parts of home.
While you lived there, you moaned about how boring it was, how everyone knew everyone else’s business and how frustrating your suffocating family were. Now you’d go back in a shot.

11. Questioning life choices
. You often wonder if you did the right thing in leaving home for this new venture. But never forget that the miserable days willl pass and there was a reason you moved in the first place.

And you can never forget that no matter what happens, there is always a home waiting for you. And what a comforting thought that is.

12. You experience the joy of carving out your own spot in the world.

Moving across the gobe, to a place where you know no one, when you're shockingly close to the poverty line, is HARD. Sticking it out, finding a job, and making a life for yourself there is even harder but there is nothing else that will make you feel more proud and independent.

13. You can indulge in all your bad habits (and suffer the consequences thereof) in peace.

Want to get a little too tipsy, order take-out for all your meals, or buy some new underwear at Target without a) running into someone you know and b) having that someone mention it to your Mom. Yeah. That's MUCH easier when you don't live in the same country.

16. You parents can never "drop in" because they were "in the neighborhood."

Ahhh... there's nothing like a 2,367 mile cushion to make you feel safe.

15. You can date someone for 5 seconds without having to introduce them to the crazies that share your last name.  
When you live a six-hour plane ride away, you can just let them keep thinking you're sad and single, while seeing how things go in secret. That way if it doesn't work out, there are depressing lectures about how "you're not getting any younger."

16. You become less of a child and more of a friend.

When you live with your family, you maintain the 'kid' role alot longer. Need something fixed? Call Dad. Need someone to feed the dog. Call your brother. When you live far away, your relationship changes to something less trans-actional. Parents become like peers, and conversations are more mature and personal.

I hope all the moms had a splendid day whether you child lives within a 50 mile radius or a six-hour plane ride. Just know they love you. 

Love Always,
Seema sammy.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

How To Spot A Player

Dear Girls, 

I don't claim to know everything but I am very updated with today's dating scene and what happens in majority of relationships. Also try watching some YouTube story-time  videos about relationships and you'll be up to date. Anyways, the point I am trying to make is have you ever been totally into a guy that you just met, only to find out days or weeks later that he’s not nearly as interested in you as he made it seem?

Today I’m going to show you how to spot a player.

First thing that you need to know is that there are two types of players:

1. Guys who are completely open and honest about what they’re looking for.

These guys are easy to spot, you just have to ask them what they’re looking for in a relationship. Usually, they’ll be very upfront with you. They’ll say things like; “I’m not looking for anything serious. I just want something casual.”
“I’m just looking to have fun. I don’t want a relationship right now.”And if you date a guy like this thinking this is going to change, won’t. If you date these guys, it’s your own fault because they’re willing to be upfront with you. You just need to listen to what they say.

The guys you need to really worry about is the second type…

2. Guys who lie, conceal, and manipulate to get you into bed with them.

Both of these guys have one thing in common, they know how to make you want them.
Most men are NOT players. If you think that most men are players, that’s because most of the men you are into are probably players. Alright, let’s talk about how to spot a sneaky, manipulative player, shall we? Since there ARE men who are players and you DO need to watch out for them, this is very important. Many of the things that would make someone a great long-term partner, these guys DON'T possess. In fact, the things that you’re probably the most attracted to aren’t any of the things that make a guy a good potential mate.

How does this help you spot a player? Simple:

As a woman, you have some level of intuition about whether a guy is being genuine or not. If you ignore this intuition because you feel so attracted to a guy that you really want to make it work out, you set yourself up for failure every time. Or worse, you fall in love with a guy’s potential.
“He’d be so perfect, if only he…”

This is a recipe for disaster.

If you meet a guy who seems perfect, take a step back for a moment. Listen to your intuition. Be real with yourself. Are you ignoring any red flags that you should pay attention to? And if you’re with a guy because of who he COULD BE some day in the future, stop lying to yourself. You’re settling. Players aren’t looking to settle down and have a real relationship. They don’t even understand WHY other men would WANT to be in a relationship. Or they’re broken and aren’t willing to deal with that area of their life right now. And you’re more likely to win the lottery four times in one year than you are to change his mind about what he wants. YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FIX HIM. He’s NEVER going to decide that you’re so awesome that he needs to fix himself for you. It’s just very unlikely. He needs to do this on his own. And if you’re giving him everything he needs (sexually, emotionally, etc.), he won’t have any motivation to get it together for you.

So, here’s the point:

Don’t date a broken man with the hope of who he will be some day. And pay attention to your intuition. Look for red flags and don’t ignore them because of how attracted you are to him. The things that make you attracted to him aren’t the same things that make him a good potential mate. 

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy. 

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

12 Things She Wishes You Understood

Dear Girls, 

Let me get straight to the point, some guys are just plain ol' dummies. We keep on hoping that they would understand certain things but they don't. And if they do, it's too late because we're not waiting around for them to finally use their brain. 
I found this poem by Derrick Jaxn that I wanted to share with you guys and it is everything we hope our partner would understand.

12 Things She Wishes You Understood - Derrick Jaxn

"She’s a lover but she’ll fight for you. 
Even when she feels like she can’t no more, she’ll still try for you
She’s not jealous, but she didn’t fall in love with plans of letting go
So when other girls cross the line, she expects YOU to let em know

She’s not stupid, she was allowing you to earn her trust
With hopes you’d appreciate it too much to do things to mess it up
She’s not needy, but she deserves to be a priority of your attention
Especially when she ignores it from other guys who can’t wait to catch you slippin’

She’s not insecure, but she wants to know that you find her attractive
The way you look at and touch her should all scream how glad you are to have her
She’s not rushing things, she just doesn’t have time to be playing games
She’s trying to build an empire with somebody who’s trying to do the same

She’s not judging you, she just realizes your potential
And won’t waste time if you’re not trying because she only dates men with ambition
She doesn’t have trust issues, but won’t put up with all the lies
If honesty is too much to ask then you shouldn’t have even bothered to say hi

She loves the thought of being yours only, but not when you’re for everybody else
Not when new numbers are popping up in your phone, not when you’re deleting texts
She’s not too sensitive, she has feelings she shows to you ‘cause you’re her man
And it doesn’t mean she’s not making sense just because you don’t understand

She knows she complicated, so if you’re not ready, just say it
So she can save you both some trouble of you coming around when she’s done waiting."

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

I Love You but...

Dear Girls, 

"Not anymore, although at one point I was very upset with you.
But you see, now I understand that letting go of you freed me up to embrace what was coming for me, and no offense but what came after you was better for me.

That's the way it should have been for both of us though because you went off doing yourself never looking back on me, so for you to be here begging on my door step after I've consciously moved on is unfair.

What this shows me is not only did you not deserve me or my love back then, but even if by some miracle of a chance I was to take you back now, you'd still lack the capacity to respect me and you still don't deserve me."

Seema Sammy.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

She's me

Dear Girls, 

She looked in the mirror and wiped her tears before they could fall any further than her bottom lash, it was then she decided enough was enough, that he would no longer have this much power over her emotions. Tokens of a love forgotten was all she had left of a man she thought was everything, and with these tokens she paid her way to self love and sanity. Some say she lost herself while being in love with him, I say it’s true, but she found herself while falling out.

I believe God gives us battles in the form of relationships and friendships, and it’s up to us to armor ourselves in faith. Getting up is only half the battle, and even that is a chore at times, but it’s worth the effort when you see improvements in your character. 

She was always so preoccupied with everyone else’s well being that she forgot how to treat herself, and she let those closest neglect her, always kept it bottled up and never letting them know how much it hurts her. She’s every woman that has ever loved wholeheartedly, she’s me.

Love always, 
Seema Sammy. 

Monday, March 28, 2016

Is Your Relationship Nourishing Or Draining?

Dear Girls, 

I've been wanting to address this issue we so often experience in relationships; Manipulation, it is a type of social influence that aims to change the behavior or perception of others through abusive, deceptive or underhanded tactics.


So many people do it, so many people are the victims of it and so many people see it every day. When is this going to end? Men do it to women, women do it to men. I see it with boyfriends and girlfriends. Manipulating each other is not a relationship. When he manipulates you, he drags you down and when you get mad at him he twist things and makes it seem like you’re the one that is wrong. He belittles you, calls you stupid but of course if you bring it up you're being “crazy”. He talks to you like he owns you and gets mad at you when you don't comply to his commands. In that voice that makes me cringe. He’s starving for attention, he needs to be better than you so he doesn’t let you grow into who you are supposed to be. 

Women and men get wrapped up in these relationships they can’t break away from. I can’t watch it any longer it’s disgusting. When will you wake up, when will you open your eyes? This is my plead to you guys, break free of this trend. End it as soon you start noticing  these signs popping up in your relationship because it will not get better. 

Stay strong my loves, 
Seema Sammy. 

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

How NOT to lose yourself while in a relationship

Dear Girls,

Lets talk about losing yourself while in a relationship. I’m not an expert, let me point that out but experience is our ultimate teacher. Now, if you’re anything like me, the minute you commit yourself to a partner, everything starts to revolve around him. You want to make sure you meet his needs, but you’re also unconsciously always thinking of ways to make him happy. You're genuinely striving to be the perfect partner. Totally understandable. But while you’re submerging yourself in the life of this other person, you may not be making your own life the priority it should be.
How do you find the balance between giving to your partner and holding onto yourself in the process?

Here’s a list of 8 ways to love without losing yourself.


1) Become too dependent.  
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re off the hook when it comes to taking care of yourself and your own feelings. It’s nice to have someone who wants to comfort you, and it’s perfectly all right to let him, but make sure you don’t need it.

2) Talk about your relationship nonstop.  
You do not want to be the person who brings every conversation with friends back to the time your partner said this or did that. Your time with friends is an opportunity to discuss other things.

3) Talk to each other all the time.  
If you’re in constant contact with your partner throughout the day, what are you going to talk about when you actually see each other?  Also, you can’t live your own life if you’re always talking to someone else.

4) Let the status of your relationship affect your whole outlook. 
It’s never fun or easy when you and your partner fight, but do your best to compartmentalize. The less you let what’s going on in your relationship affect your work, friendships and interaction with family, the better. If the state of your relationship entirely determines your mood, then you are probably too consumed by it.

5) Neglect other important relationships. 
If you have plans with family or your best friends, don’t flake last minute to stay in with your significant other. A good relationship will definitely withstand you taking the time to honor commitments to people outside it.

6) Depend on the other person to complete you.  
Your partner should make you happy, not make you whole.

7) Shrink yourself. 
Don’t resist success, a promotion or making more money than your partner to boost his ego or spare his feelings. Someone who truly loves you and who is worth loving is secure enough to cheer you on.

8) Go immediately from one relationship to another. 
We all know that person who never seems to take any time for herself between breakups to grieve, mend and remember who she is. Don’t use relationships as an excuse to never focus on yourself, your flaws or your personal growth. The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from loving yourself.

Love yourself first, so YOU know what you deserve. 

P.s, I wish I took my advice when I was in a relationship. But you live and you learn. 

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy.

Source: Huffington Post (Relationship Advice)

Friday, March 18, 2016

When your Prince Charming Turns out to be a Dickhead

Dear Girls, 

So let’s be real. It is pretty hard to focus on recovering when you are questioning yourself about what went wrong. You thought you were soul mates. Those darn questions and thoughts. For some of us, it feels like we have to start over, and for others it may be easier to move on. There isn’t one set way to heal or recover from a broken heart.

There are many ways to heal and recover after heartbreak, but the most important thing is for you to know that it is possible. Life is filled with solutions and wonderful ways in which to overcome hardship. If you are willing, you will find what you are looking for. And if a mended, happy, recovered heart is what you seek, then you will find exactly that.

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” 
~Pema Chödrön

How to gently heal a broken heart

1. Make a choice: either run from the pain or deal with it. Hopefully you want to deal with it and not distract yourself by other means (i.e. overworking, substance abuse, jumping into another relationship). Rise up to the challenge and deal with it head-on. This will allow you to be free of the pain in the time it takes rather than lingering on it forever.

2. There is no room for guilt in your life going forward. If you made a mistake then, by all means feel the guilt for the moment. You may want to extend your apologies depending on the situation. But ongoing guilt is a killer. Get rid of it.

3. Don’t be hard on yourself in the process of healing. Feel your emotions and acknowledge them. It is awkward and uncomfortable but going through the motions allows you to feel like a human being. It is normal. Don’t be embarrassed for feeling the way you do.

4. Talk, write, sing, dance, draw and create–if you have a passion that you lose yourself in then use it to help you heal. Writing and music is my healthy escape and I can express myself through a journal without judgment from anyone. It gets my thoughts and feelings out. I end up creating some great pieces too!

5. Our mindsets can either help us to go forward or keep us in a state of fear, sadness and regret! It’s very easy to remain hurt and angry, but that won’t help us personally. Take each day as it comes and choose the attitude that will uplift you. Give out positive vibes and the universe will reciprocate. 

Hope You Guys Have an Awesome Weekend.

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy. 

Thursday, March 17, 2016

We Deserve Love No Matter What

Dear Girls, 

Do you have parts of yourself that you’d like to change? Maybe even parts of your personality you’re a little embarrassed by? I do. And if I started to list them I probably wouldn’t know where to stop.
I can be a complainer and whiner. Even worse, I sometimes turn into a martyr and feel sorry for myself. Other times I’m overly emotional and have been known to have a really fluctuating temper.
But the thing is, we are not our behavior. Often we know when we’re not acting our best and if you’re like me, you’re exceptionally hard on yourself.


We Deserve Love Even When We Do Things We Regret 

In the past when these less than noble parts of myself raised their whiny heads, I cringed and felt ashamed. It's proof that I had not traveled far at all on the road of self-discovery.
For instance, I often write about mindful living.
I’m an advocate of eating healthy, organic food yet only a few days ago I devoured an entire box of cookies in one sitting.  
Who the fuck am I to be writing about mindfulness and tips in healthy living?
Oh, yeah, and I swear too much.
If I indulged myself, I would start to think why even bother trying to be my best? Nothing is going to work out anyway. I’ll be the same sorry loser I always was. But that kind of thinking gets us nowhere. And when we’re feeling bad, our lesser selves often rise to the surface.
When we sink into these places of despair it can be so hard to come back out. But we have to. We need to recognize when despair first begins to wrap its slimy arms around our necks and threatens to pull us into that dark hole of depression. We need to develop tools and learn to call on them in times of crisis. We can change how we act. It’s not easy. It takes a lot of work but it can be done. And something happens when we change our behavior. We begin to change inside as well.

Who are your ignoble selves? We all have them.
-Do you judge others?
-Do you feel like you could tell everyone a thing or two about religion, politics or life?
-Do you make fun of people for doing or saying things you find unintelligent?

Our judgment usually comes from a sense of inadequacy in our own lives. We all do this from time to time, so you don’t need to judge yourself for doing it. But you can leverage this awareness to change your thoughts and behavior. The key is to work toward change from a place of self-compassion instead of motivating yourself with shame. How do we do that?

Practice acceptance.
If I could choose one word that has helped me to live with my less than noble selves it would be acceptance. It’s a simple concept, yet hard to practice. But acceptance has been far more helpful to me than either love or forgiveness.
The truth is, there are people in my life I have a hard time forgiving or loving, but I’ve been able to create positive change in my life by accepting what they’ve done.
Acceptance has led me along the path of love and forgiveness, but I couldn’t get there without first accepting the reality of life as it is: imperfect and painful as well as fulfilling and full of joy. Both realities are accurate.
Acceptance ultimately comes back to accepting ourselves as we are with all our beautiful imperfections. Once we truly accept who we are for what we are, we open the way to change.

Forgive yourself.
We often forgive others much more easily than we forgive ourselves, but after acceptance, forgiving yourself may be the next most important step.
Forgive yourself your imperfections. Forgive yourself your less than noble behavior. Forgive yourself for not being the person you think your lover or friends or family want you to be. Forgive yourself if you’re still not living the life you think you should live.
Life is not easy on any of us. We’ve all had traumas and losses. We all have personality traits that are less than stellar. But if we begin with acceptance and move onto forgiveness, we will inevitably come to the ultimate goal: love.
And when we truly love ourselves, we’ll find our ignoble selves become less and less dominant. They’ll still show up from time to time. That’s just the nature of things, but with love we can kindly refuse to indulge them.
Love brings laughter back into our lives and helps us turn our less than noble selves into one perfectly flawed being alive with joy and love.

 “You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” 
~Brené Brown

 Love Always,
Seema Sammy.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

How to Leave a Toxic Relationship When You’re Still in Love

Dear Girls, 

Why does it have to hurt so badly? You know, when you’re so in love but your relationship becomes toxic. Night after night, you lie awake replaying the fights in your head. You can’t understand why your partner won’t change or how they can simply ignore how you feel, sometimes you wonder if they ever truly loved you. You know it's time to end it when you’ve tried everything to save your relationship, but nothing’s worked, yet the thought of being alone petrifies you. But still, the pain has become too unbearable and If you don’t end things now, you might completely lose yourself.

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
 ~Marilyn Monroe


How to Leave a Toxic Relationship When You’re Still in Love

1. Learning to Let Go

Letting go of someone you care about is definitely a difficult thing to do. I was forced to accept that my relationship with my ex wasn’t meant to be.The lies and the cheating became too much to handle. I wanted him to stop hurting me. I wanted him to understand that his behavior tore me apart inside. I wanted him to change. It didn’t matter how much I loved him. It didn’t matter if I was the best woman or friend in the universe; nothing would have worked. Was he really worth all of this? No, he wasn’t. He would say I don't have evidence of his infidelity or that I'm crazy so when I found substantial evidence, I knew I needed to get him out of my life. If you’re stuck in a toxic relationship, know that you can find the strength to get yourself out of it and move on.

2. Realize That You Deserve Better

Sometimes, loving someone just isn’t enough if you aren’t receiving the same love in return. It’s like putting work into an old, broken-down car. No matter how much sweat and tears you put into it, it will never be the same again. The time you waste on the wrong person prevents the right person from coming your way. How can they come into your life if you already have that space filled? You have to let go. You can experience true love if you just believe that something much better is out there for you. You may not know who they are, or when they will come, but they are waiting on you to let go so that they can come into your life.

3. Stop Waiting for Your Partner to Change

This is the biggest mistake a person can make when deciding to stay in a relationship in which you’re being mistreated. You have to accept that the only person you control in this world is yourself. Unless the other person owns up to their mistakes, and shows the desire to get help, they probably won’t change. They may promise to change and turn things around for the better. They may even be genuine about their intentions at that moment. But more than likely, things will stay the same, especially if they made promises in the past that they didn’t fulfill. Change has to come from within; it can’t be forced. Sometimes our judgment is clouded and we simply want to see the best in someone. Sometimes we’re just so afraid of being alone. Regardless of what we tell ourselves, some relationships are just irreparable.

4. Accept That It Will Hurt

There is no easy way of getting around it. It’s going to hurt. And it’s going to hurt a lot! You’re worried about missing the feeling of being desired and wanted, the intimate and close moments you shared. Instead of being just a part of your life, they have become your entire life. You have forgotten how to live for yourself. Getting over the initial discomfort of being alone is the hardest part. But once you get past that stage, life becomes a whole lot easier. The lessons you learn along the way will allow you to grow and become a better person. The pain will not last forever. Time is your best friend. If you work through the pain, you limit the chances of your feelings coming back to haunt you later on.

5. Release The Pain

The best thing you can do for yourself is to release the pain. Different people cope in different ways. Some may hold it in because they are expected to be strong when they're dealing with tough situations. And I’ve found that to be somewhat effective. And sometimes after being strong for too long, it's okay to take a crying day/days. However, I've known people who have tried to hold in the pain and that seem to make it worst, the more they tried to hold in the pain and be strong, the worse they felt and would eventually get stressed out. So what did they do? They cried. They cried over and over again until they can begin to think clearer and notice that things aren't truly as bad as they thought. And soon enough you would start smiling again or noticing the sun shining and the beautiful clouds in the sky. You would no longer be in that dark place. So release the pain however you please. 

6. Take Some Time Off

Sometimes, it seems like the end of the world, even though it’s not. Your mind attempts to play tricks on you, making you believe that happiness isn’t possible any longer. But that's not true. Often, the best cure for pain is time. By resting your heart, mind and soul, you give yourself a chance to heal. This is also the best time to get to know you. Maybe there’s a hobby that you love or an activity you enjoy doing. For me, it was writing. Even though it didn’t completely take my mind off of things, it allowed me to spend time alone doing something I really enjoyed. And I appreciated that. Eventually, I began focusing more on myself, and less on my situation. It didn’t work immediately, but over time, it helped a lot. If you allow it, each day will become a little easier. Time heals. And even though my relationship didn’t work out as planned, I realized I could still enjoy my life.

7. Happiness is Within Your Control

Your life isn’t over. Taking back control begins with you. You don’t have to go through this alone, seek help from your loved ones. Just imagine finally being happy again and enjoying the things that you used to love. No more worrying about the future. You are finally content with the present. The load has been lifted off of your chest. The tears no longer fall. You finally realize you deserve better. It may seem unimaginable right now, but it’s definitely possible. If you make the choice today, you are one step closer to a happier tomorrow. You can do it. I believe in you. Now it’s time for you to believe in yourself. Make a declaration that today starts the healing process. From now on, you will work toward living the amazing life you deserve.

Stay Strong my loves,
Seema Sammy.