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Tuesday, March 22, 2016

How NOT to lose yourself while in a relationship

Dear Girls,

Lets talk about losing yourself while in a relationship. I’m not an expert, let me point that out but experience is our ultimate teacher. Now, if you’re anything like me, the minute you commit yourself to a partner, everything starts to revolve around him. You want to make sure you meet his needs, but you’re also unconsciously always thinking of ways to make him happy. You're genuinely striving to be the perfect partner. Totally understandable. But while you’re submerging yourself in the life of this other person, you may not be making your own life the priority it should be.
How do you find the balance between giving to your partner and holding onto yourself in the process?

Here’s a list of 8 ways to love without losing yourself.


1) Become too dependent.  
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re off the hook when it comes to taking care of yourself and your own feelings. It’s nice to have someone who wants to comfort you, and it’s perfectly all right to let him, but make sure you don’t need it.

2) Talk about your relationship nonstop.  
You do not want to be the person who brings every conversation with friends back to the time your partner said this or did that. Your time with friends is an opportunity to discuss other things.

3) Talk to each other all the time.  
If you’re in constant contact with your partner throughout the day, what are you going to talk about when you actually see each other?  Also, you can’t live your own life if you’re always talking to someone else.

4) Let the status of your relationship affect your whole outlook. 
It’s never fun or easy when you and your partner fight, but do your best to compartmentalize. The less you let what’s going on in your relationship affect your work, friendships and interaction with family, the better. If the state of your relationship entirely determines your mood, then you are probably too consumed by it.

5) Neglect other important relationships. 
If you have plans with family or your best friends, don’t flake last minute to stay in with your significant other. A good relationship will definitely withstand you taking the time to honor commitments to people outside it.

6) Depend on the other person to complete you.  
Your partner should make you happy, not make you whole.

7) Shrink yourself. 
Don’t resist success, a promotion or making more money than your partner to boost his ego or spare his feelings. Someone who truly loves you and who is worth loving is secure enough to cheer you on.

8) Go immediately from one relationship to another. 
We all know that person who never seems to take any time for herself between breakups to grieve, mend and remember who she is. Don’t use relationships as an excuse to never focus on yourself, your flaws or your personal growth. The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from loving yourself.

Love yourself first, so YOU know what you deserve. 

P.s, I wish I took my advice when I was in a relationship. But you live and you learn. 

Love Always, 
Seema Sammy.

Source: Huffington Post (Relationship Advice)

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