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Monday, March 14, 2016

To Heaven with love: Letters to heaven . . .


Dear Girls, 

Today is just one of those days. I've had you on my mind all day, for the past two weeks I've had extra trouble sleeping at night and when I would finally fall asleep, all I have is nightmares. Over and over that morning replays in my head, I'm force to lose you all over again, every time and I swear it hurts even more now than it did on that day. 

When it happened I was in shock and too numb to really feel the pain of my heart being torn out of my chest. I wasn't ready to lose you, I wasn't ready to live without you and sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. When the heart decides it is not done feeling, there is no persuading it. The heart is an uncontrollable force; the perfect storm, if you will. It does not forget easily and it wants with the might of a tsunami and it takes and takes and takes until suddenly you look down and you’ve been stripped bare. Every so often the pain becomes a little too much, almost unbearable and I know that makes me weak but I promise myself I was going to be strong.


I love how you simplified my life and made love seem so attainable. Now everyday is an obstacle for me, everyday is a struggle to breathe without hearing your voice or being able to say your name and say I love you. Sometimes I wish I lost my memory if that meant the pain would disappear. . . 

 Love Always,
 Seema Sammy.

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