Dear Girls,Today is just one of those days. I've had you on my mind all day, for the past two weeks I've had extra trouble sleeping at night and when I would finally fall asleep, all I have is nightmares. Over and over that morning replays in my head, I'm force to lose you all over again, every time and I swear it hurts even more now than it did on that day.
When it happened I was in shock and too numb to really feel the pain of my heart being torn out of my chest. I wasn't ready to lose you, I wasn't ready to live without you and sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. When the heart decides it is not done feeling, there is no persuading it. The heart is an uncontrollable force; the perfect storm, if you will. It does not forget easily and it wants with the might of a tsunami and it takes and takes and takes until suddenly you look down and you’ve been stripped bare. Every so often the pain becomes a little too much, almost unbearable and I know that makes me weak but I promise myself I was going to be strong.
I love how you simplified my life and made love seem so attainable. Now everyday is an obstacle for me, everyday is a struggle to breathe without hearing your voice or being able to say your name and say I love you. Sometimes I wish I lost my memory if that meant the pain would disappear. . .