Lets talk once more about self confidence, I get it: self-confidence
is challenging to master. It's entirely too simple to fall into a
discouraging rhythm of beating yourself up, because let's be real —
culture isn't always kind. However, it is possible to surmount
the odds and discover a place in which loving yourself comes naturally.
Try your best to tackle these 22 tasks, which promote growth, happiness, success, and wholesome self-love. We're in this together. I believe in you
Source: successmasterycamp.com
1.Stop nit-picking. First and foremost, the endless barrage of
self-criticisms and nit-picking must end. Learn to change the dialogue
in your head! Keep things in perspective — you're only human
(one who makes mistakes once in a while!), and you are good enough. 2.Keep a positivity journal.
To really gear up and switch the direction of your thoughts, try maintaining a positivity journal. This will keep your spirits up and encourage joy and gratitude.
3.Take a break from dating.
Unless you're already in a happy, committed relationship
— which is hard to attain if you're plagued with self-doubt — take a
break from dating. After all, learning to love yourself first is crucial for a fulfilling romantic connection. Carve the time out to
focus on yourself, because you deserve it!
4.Exercise.
It's no secret that exercise boosts your mood, which paves the way for self-love. Not to mention, taking care of your body will recharge your self-esteem!
5.Prioritize what YOU want.
Make a list of the things you love most, and why. Maybe watching Netflix with a bowl of pop corn puts a smile on your face faster than just
about anything (I feel you, girl). Or maybe you find your happy place
when you're doing something else. Prioritize these on a scale of one to ten,
and make a pact with yourself to engage in each and every one by the
end of the week, the month, the year (depending on how big your list
is!).
6.Read a good book.
Books can change your life for the better.
7.Rid yourself of toxic connections.
It's time to ditch the "friend" who
constantly cuts you down with subtle, passive-aggressive barbs. You're
on a journey, and there's no room for toxins where you're headed.
8. Drink less.
It's SO tempting to end a bad day with a
bottle of merlot, but let's face it — drinking isn't the best way to
deal with your problems. Sure, a glass or two here and there is
perfectly acceptable, limit yourself to libations once a week.
9.Learn to enjoy alone time.
Facing alone time
can be intimidating if you're feeling not so good about yourself or
have recently been through a major breakup. Sleeping alone at night
after the end of a relationship is a scary struggle, in particular. But
it's essential that you face your fears and realize you alone are fabulous company. Besides, having extra time to do everything you desire is pretty amazing!
10.Take a vacation.
It's been your dream to visit Dubai for years, but life got in the way and it sort of just fell down the pipeline. Now's your chance to officially make it happen while you're still young and able! Browse Pinterest for travel tips.
Plan your budget. Take the time off of work. Buy the plane ticket! (In
that order, more or less.) Leap on the chance, because you won't always
have it.
11.Eat healthier.
Have you ever felt downright awesome after eating a nutritious meal? We thought so! Putting yummy, healthy food into your body is a simple remedy for self-love.
12.Invest in your career.
Since working is what you do most, put your heart and soul into it! Whether you're content in the field you're in or wish to pave a new career path, discover and establish your passion . . . and work hard. Everyone gets a case of the Mondays from time to time, but if you love what you do, the rewards are abundant!
13.Go shopping.
Hey, who says retail therapy doesn't lift your spirits? No one. Besides, buying clothes that fit well can make all the difference in your self-esteem.
14.Make new friends.
Attend a Meetup
once a week. Show the new girl the best bar in town. Hit up your
neighbor for brunch. Overcoming social anxiety and surrounding yourself with new pals will put you on top of the world, fast.
15.Value your education.
No matter where you're at in your education,
value it! At the risk of sounding nerdy, the learning process is kind of
beautiful especially with all the resources at your fingertips. It's possible to become an expert in virtually anything.
16.Meditate.
When you're stressed AF, try a quick guided imagery exercise. You don't have to be a guru to achieve zen!
17.Care for your appearance.
The skin you're in will last you a lifetime,
so take care of it with a thorough cleaning routine! And make sure
you're always polished for the office. You don't have to go all out with
a smoky eye and contour, but looking presentable, from your hairstyle to the shoes you wear, will work wonders for your confidence.
18.Get a pet.
Maybe it can't be proven that pets help you love yourself, but they
certainly love you. If you're financially stable and crave a living,
breathing cuddle buddy (RIP, huge snuggly teddy bear), consider a furry friend. There's nothing like an adorable animal to greet you at the door every day!
19.Take up a new hobby.
You just got busy with other sh*t. It's never too late to
take up a new hobby, which can be incredibly fulfilling especially if you stick with it!
20.Step out of your comfort zone.
You've always wanted to run a marathon,
but you're worried you won't make it to the end. Lace up your Nikes and
train, lady! It's time to step out of your comfort zone whenever you
can. Breaking out of your bubble will give you a healthy dose of
self-esteem.
21.Organize.
If your room is a mess, your life might be a mess, too. This could be an overstatement, but you'd be amazed by how far a little organizing can go. Not only will things look better, but you'll feel
like everything — big and small — is falling into place, too. So cancel
next Sunday's plans and take the day to clean out your closet literally and figuratively.
22.Answer to no one.
Remember: when it comes down to it, this is your
life, and you should do what you damn well please with it. You can make
your dreams happen; you can become everything you've ever wanted. It
all starts with a little self-love. I really hope this helps you a ton. Your friend, Seema Sammy.
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Dear Girls,
Let me officially wish you all a Happy New Years. I apologize for going incognito, again. I just can't seem to work out a schedule and stick to it. I hate posting blogs scattered all over the place like this. I will keep working on that.
Anyways, these are some of the rules I've learned to live by. They've helped me come to terms with and accept myself as I continue to grow individually and I thought I'd share them with you guys.
Rules
1. Apologize when you hurt someone. Don’t apologize for laughing too long, or singing too loud, or missing a dance step. Never feel bad for trying your best and having a good time.
2. Your feelings are real. Even if you can’t understand the cause or if it doesn’t seem important enough, they’re still valid.
3. You’re human. You will make mistakes and you will have flaws. Be the best you can be, but you won’t be perfect, nor should you be.
4. No one’s dreams are more worthwhile than anyone else’s. Pursue what you love, even if others think it’s stupid.
5. There’s no shame in liking something. Or someone. There’s nothing wrong with crushing on someone because they’re hot, or loving a cheesy and predictable movie, or waiting in line for hours to buy the newest hot item. Don’t hide your interests or affections.
6. It’s not “just” for fun. Fun is as legitimate a cause as any.
7. It’s hard, but don’t beat yourself up about the past. There’s nothing you can do to change it, and it doesn’t have to define what you do in the future.
8. Don’t try to force yourself to stop caring about something before you’re ready. It doesn’t work and only creates anxiety.
9. Don’t hold yourself back to fit in. Find people who will love you for all of you.
Sometimes the insecure parts of my brain try to sneak in and take over
like when I look in a mirror and see a full, extended belly or stretch
marks or cellulite or thighs that seem bigger, a small part of me is sad
and tries to obsess over it but the REAL me doesn’t give a shit about
things like the strange reflections in a mirror.
So I laugh and make a
big, satisfying dinner because I
know I treat my body amazingly and however it wants to look at this
stage in my life is fine by me as long as I am medically healthy and
able to live freely.
It
deeply concerns me that people think that fat people hating
themselves and calling themselves stupid and ugly is better than
embracing who they are and being happy.
Someone’s dress size has no bearing on whether or not they deserve
happiness. Being a shitty person who bullies others into thinking
they’re worthless because of their bodies has a bearing on whether or
not you deserve happiness.
With that being said, try being a good human being! You'll like it. Thanks.
I hope this powerful quote from Robin Lee penetrate your soul the same way it did mine.
"Repeat
after me: I am the woman of my own dreams. I require no validation. My
wish is my command. My life is my own. I build it. My voice is my own. I
use it. I am relentless in my dedication to trusting myself. I am
insatiable in my thirst for the extraordinary, and I do not settle for
the mediocre.
I
Live
Without
Dead
Time."
To be honest, the thing that infuriates me the most on a daily
basis is when I see women making nasty comments about other women’s
bodies on social media.
It’s bad enough when it comes from men but I
can’t handle it when it comes from women. Every woman knows what it’s
like to feel uncomfortable in their own skin or feel out of place or to
not think very highly of themselves. So why on earth would you want to
drag your sister, who’s in the same position you know all too well, down
even further? It’s disgusting. Never feel the need to make disrespectful remarks about your sisters. They are beautiful. You are beautiful.
I
suffered with the ins and outs of eating disorder for a long time. I
have my down days, but I'm definitely much more body positive than I use
to be.
I think that loving yourself is one of the most radical things
you can do in a world constantly telling you it's wrong to do so. You
don't need to be corrected. You don't need to think you're amazing all
the time either. It's a journey and that's what is beautiful.
At least,
that's what's been beautiful for me. I still get anxious or sad; but I'm
always me and I'm pretty happy with that. I'm more than a number on a
scale or how little tape I can wrap around my waist.
AlI
that's on my mind is how much I’ve let myself down trying to lift
everyone else up. I’ve made this mistake so many times before, but
lately it hurts my heart more than usual. I’ve realized just how harmful
being too selfless can be.
I
love helping others. I lend my ear to sad souls who just want to be
heard, or at least they paint a picture as such. I lend my heart to
empty people that can never seem to reciprocate my love for them. You’d
think after years of constant disappointment I'd learn, I don’t. I learn
but I never listen.
I
guess what I’m saying is, stop trying to please everyone except
yourself, ACCEPT YOURSELF, learn to value your own heart and let God
help you help yourself. It’s okay to be selfish, I have to constantly remind myself…. ITS OK TO BE SELFISH.
You are worthy and amazing right now. You just need to remember who you are, and let go of all the false beliefs you've taken on. Mary Oliver says it better that I ever could...
"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air
are heading home agaian.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination.
calls you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place in the family of things."
-Mary Oliver.
Have a wonderful day my loves.
Love Always,
Seema Sammy.
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Dear Girls,
Here's a little something to start your day :)
"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do
afterward." - Kurt Vonnegut
This has always been a favorite quote
of mine, because it kinda sums up a philosophy I've always had. Sure,
there are times you need to cry and just get it all out. I like laughing
though, if I can, because I tend to feel better afterwards. The past
few days I've been feeling pretty disgusted and frustrated with
everything. However, this constant state of frustration and stress was having a
snowball effect to where every little thing bothered me. This has been
one of those situations where crying isn't helping anymore. So last
night I took a big step back from those emotions, chilled out, went to the gym and watched some inspirational YouTube videos . Now I am ready
to laugh, because I had gotten pretty tired of all that cleaning up
afterwards :).
Love Always,
Seema Sammy.
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Dear Girls,
I know from experience that not a lot of us experienced love and encouragement people from the people around us. Most of the time they lash out at us for the way we look. This comes from people who we love and would do anything for. What baffles me is I don't know if they're intentionally hurting me or not. I like to think that they have my best interest at heart and lashing out is their way of helping me. But I've since learned that those people are assholes, yes they could be your parent as a matter of fact. At least for me it was a parent, most of my teen years were spent with my mother comparing me to every kid in the neighborhood. 'Why can't you look like that girl (girl from my neighborhood)?' she would say. 'Do you see any young girl your age that looks like you' or 'You're too fat, no guy would want you'. She would say 'don't eat that', 'don't eat this' and would try to embarrass me even when people were around.
My mom thought that embarrassing me would convince me to make drastic lifestyle change and that I'd probably turn into model. No! that didn't happen. What happened though was I'd stress eat because food was my comfort. Food filled that void she caused from hurting and bashing me. She wasn't helping me at all. Instead, she made it worse. I'm not blaming her for becoming over-weight, I did that on my own. I'm just saying she's one of the influences.
Anyways, the point I wanted to get across to you guys is that you should build up the people around you and make them feel loved. Not just loved, encourage them, believe in them and support them. Sometimes people don't see their own worth so please don't be one of the influences to that. They need a little reminder. Tell them about the potential you see in them. Tell them how worthy they are. Let them know you believe in them. Show your support. Most of all let them know you'll always be there for them, that you'll always be a shoulder to lean on. Everyone deserves that positivity and reassurance in their life.
And lastly, I am in no way speaking ill of my mom. I love her, because of her I've become the woman I am today. I thank her because now I can share my experiences and ultimately help someone. I've look at my experiences as stepping stones because I am using them to help young girls or whoever maybe be going through this.
Keep exuding positive energy!
Love always,
Seema Sammy.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
My Opinion Matters!
Growing
up people would tell me that I needed to look a certain way, that I
needed to lose weight to look beautiful. That I wasn't good enough
because I was FAT, yes I used the 'F' word. They would never give me a
chance, they would assume because I'm fat then I can't be ambitious or I
wouldn't get anywhere in life. None of my dreams deserve to come true
because I am fat. I know this is FUCKING ridiculous but I believed them.
I believe that I wouldn't be able to achieve anything.
And
for years I've hated myself because no matter how hard I try to look
the way society wanted me to look, I couldn't look that way. I started
gym, went on crazy diets trying to stave myself, among other stuff.
The
craziest thing was whenever I would see people I haven't seen in a
while, first thing they would say is 'you haven't lost any weight?',
aren't you doing anything about it?' and then my weight would be the hot
topic of that encounter. I mean come on don't you wanna know how I've
been doing at school, or if I have a promotion at
work, or I don't know how my fucking day went??? And for years I
thought this was the right way for them to treat me because I was FAT.
And even if I was doing great in my life, that wouldn't matter because
guess what, I was FAT.
To
those people, I say #EffYourBeautyStandards. Eff what you think about
me. At the end of the day, you're mad about who I am but I am happy
about who I am. And my opinion about myself is the only one that matters
darling.
Love,
Seema Sammy.
Friday, September 4, 2015
Who Am I?
Hello there, even though I'm not in front of a crowded room of people, I still feel awkward introducing myself. Introducing one's self is so much pressure. I'm suppose to tell you who I am and I don't even know who I am yet. I'm still figuring out myself. What do I say to you? What is appropriate? What is acceptable? Those are the thoughts gushing through my mind. Anyways, here we go.
My name is Seema Sammy born in Suriname, grew up in Guyana and currently living in New York. I just turned 24 and I'm working as a Video Editor. I have a calling for storytelling hence, my job as a video editor. A dream of mine is to be a filmmaker but I don't know how my life will play out so until then I'm a happy dreamer.
I'm a girl by the way if you don't already know and I'm also plus-sized. I've struggle with my weight for my entire life. I recently realized with the help of a few influential public figures and You tubers that being plus sized is not equivalent to unhappiness. I started looking at the positive things about my life and stop dwelling on 'numbers'. I use to think that those 'numbers' define who I am or what I can accomplished. I've recently hopped on the Body positivity train and I would love to share my experiences. I'm aware that being plus size is difficult, not because we make it that way but because people around us can't stand that we can be happy and FAT. They feel the need to point it out and then proceed to tell us how to fix it. It is especially harder when you're Indian (Caribbean/ West Indians). They think that everyone should look a certain way. If you don't look like that then you need to do something to fix it and they compare you to everyone who fit the perfect description. It was arduous growing up knowing that you're not doing it the right way and that you NEED to lose weight before you can be considered Beautiful. One of the main reasons for starting this blog is to empower young girls whether you're from the Caribbean or right here in the US. I know my stories, experiences and struggle will relate to many of you. I want you to know that you're not alone. I strive to be someone that I wish I had to talk too when I was growing up. Someone to encourage me. Someone to let me know that I will be okay. Someone to let me know that my body type wouldn't measure success. Someone to let me know that I can BE myself. I want to be that SOMEONE to you. There will be weekly blogs uploaded here, so do not hesitate to message me on any social media platform and I will definitely answer your questions to the best of my abilities.
